How could Jared Allen help you???

The Minnesota Vikings had to resort to begging to try to sell out their home playoff game and keep it from being blacked out locally with this Jared Allen video.  HOW PATHETIC!!!  Can you imagine this happening in Chicago?!?!  I’ve got an idea Jared.  How about you blow the dust off your wallet and spend some of that $15 million signing bonus you got from the Vikes to buy up the tickets and send some pathetic Viking fans to the game???

Since the Vikings have asked Jared Allen to help them sell playoff tickets, I’m asking you, what would you ask Jared Allen to help you with?  Hairstyling tips?  Rope a calf?  Designated Driver?  Oops.  Probably not a good idea with 3 DUI’s on his record.   Share your ideas in the Comments.