I Am Finished Being a Bears Fan!!!

For those of you out there old enough to remember, there was a song by Depeche Mode called “Blasphemous Rumors” which has the refrain:

I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find Him laughing

Now, for those of you who know the rest of the song, you know that the subject matter isn’t exactly related to sports, but I think the theme of the song is very relevant.  Take these altered lyrics based off the original:

I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think the Bears Brass has a sick sense of humor
And when I show up for games, I expect to find Them laughing

Ok, I know it isn’t as good as the original, but here’s my point.  As a lifelong Bears fan, the happiness of my weeks from September through December are tied to how the Bears perform that week.  Simply put, Bears win and it is a good week, Bears lose and I can’t even get up to go to the gym the next morning because I don’t want to see highlights of the game.  Some say I’m sick, my wife especially.  And it isn’t like I have no life.  I mean, I am happily married, I have three beautiful children, a great job and I have been successful in my career.  But the Bears are like a drug to me.  I am hooked.

This offseason however has given me a new perspective.  Starting with the Depresser the Three Stooges put us all through a couple weeks ago until now when I see qualified coaching candidate after qualified coaching candidate slip away to other teams, I can’t take it anymore.  The Bears are jumping the shark in every way possible and I am not sure they can get back to prominence.

Lovie can’t convince his buddy Perry Fewell to believe in him and he is considering a job with the Giants that is only marginally more secure than a job with the Bears.  The wheels have come off Lovie’s bus, gang, and nothing can stop it from swerving right off the cliff, so why should I have a seat on that bus when its fate is decidedly grim.

But my friends, I am here to tell you…no more!!!  I am entering rehab and the first step on my 12-step program is to renounce my Beardom.  That’s right, I am finished being a Bears fan.  Much like an alcoholic that gets clean, I guess I still have say I’m a Bears fan, but I am no longer going to drink the orange and blue kool-aid.  I am going to stop watching the Bears and I am going to stop surrounding myself by other Bears fans for fear of slipping back into Bear-aholism. 

This is pretty easy for me since I moved away from Chicago about 6 years ago.  And, no, I am not going to take up a new vice/team to occupy my time.  Instead, I am going to watch football as a passive observer and enjoy the sport.  In the city I currently live in, there is an NFL team and on weeks the Bears are off or playing on Monday night, I have attended games there to watch this other team.  I can’t tell you how much more relaxing and enjoyable it can be to watch an NFL game without a real concern with which team wins.  I can just enjoy the wonderful sport of football without taking years off my life when they lose, tearing my heart out.

Will I fall off the wagon?  I don’t know.  I do know that day won’t come until I feel it is safe to put my faith in an organization that doesn’t care about me as long as I support the team by spending money on the product they sell.  I know many of you may laugh at me or call me a sellout, but after 37 years on this planet, it is time to make a change and look out for myself.  The Bears don’t give a fuck about me, so why should I give a fuck about them!?!?

I welcome your comments as I will still be a part of BGO, albeit in a slightly different capacity.  Feel free to talk me off the ledge or even join me in my new Bear-free lifestyle, but until then…

Can I get an “Amen” ?

The DeCon has spoken…so let it be written, so let it be done…

I’ll hear your confessions at [email protected].

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  • Toast

    Hello My name is Toast and I’m a Bear-aholic.

    A Friggin’ MEN. We are about the same age and
    I like you am fed up!! I also live out of Chitown now and have bled blue and orange my whole life. I have, for the last 5 years thrown my hard earned money away on NFL ticket, so I could tap my vein every week durng the season to watch my beloved Bears. NO MORE!!! Why pay the money when I can watch the same product put on the field and watch my high school son play. Wait that might be and insult to all high school programs nationwide.

    Maybe next year when we lose more games and the figure out and actually do what they should have this year maybe than I can start to feel somthing for the Bears again.

    Who am I kiddn’ I’ll be 6 ft under before these clowns get anything right.

  • Boomer

    Decon – I’m going to chalk this up as sleep deprivation due to your trip to the Far East. After all the Bears have put us through, you’re going to let Perry freaking Fewell be the straw that breaks the camel’s back???

    You compare your plight to that of an addict. I think it’s more like a battered woman. The Bears abuse you and you say you’re going to leave. Heck, you might even pack a bag. But you can’t bring yourself to actually leave because you don’t know how to live without the abusive partner.

    You’ll be back with wallet in hand, begging to fork over your hard-earned cash for anything with a Bears logo and willing to take another season of abuse and bungled Lovie challenges. Mark my words, you’ll be back.

    Gimme an Amen to that!

  • DeCon

    i am battered and bruised, this is true, but much like Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy, I am fighting back and will kill this demon for good!!!

  • bears160

    I’m not sure I’m at the point where you are, but I also live Chicago Bears football and living in Minnesota makes it that much harder.

    I’m just not ready to give up just quite yet. Being an Illinois football fan, I couldn’t wait to see Ron Turner go and then my Bears make him our offensive playcaller. Since then I have called for Turner’s head. His playcalling duties are god awful so I’m pleased with the move.

    I do completely agree with your point that there is nothing more frustrating than the Bears “not rushing” the hirring process for a coaching staff. Who else is there??? There were even conversations about them looking at the offensive coordinator for the Minnesota Golden Gophers who’s offense was on the bottem half of the Big Ten.

    Sigh….Too much to say and not enough time in the day.

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