I Am Finished Being a Bears Fan!!!

For those of you out there old enough to remember, there was a song by Depeche Mode called “Blasphemous Rumors” which has the refrain:

I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find Him laughing

Now, for those of you who know the rest of the song, you know that the subject matter isn’t exactly related to sports, but I think the theme of the song is very relevant.  Take these altered lyrics based off the original:

I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think the Bears Brass has a sick sense of humor
And when I show up for games, I expect to find Them laughing

Ok, I know it isn’t as good as the original, but here’s my point.  As a lifelong Bears fan, the happiness of my weeks from September through December are tied to how the Bears perform that week.  Simply put, Bears win and it is a good week, Bears lose and I can’t even get up to go to the gym the next morning because I don’t want to see highlights of the game.  Some say I’m sick, my wife especially.  And it isn’t like I have no life.  I mean, I am happily married, I have three beautiful children, a great job and I have been successful in my career.  But the Bears are like a drug to me.  I am hooked.

This offseason however has given me a new perspective.  Starting with the Depresser the Three Stooges put us all through a couple weeks ago until now when I see qualified coaching candidate after qualified coaching candidate slip away to other teams, I can’t take it anymore.  The Bears are jumping the shark in every way possible and I am not sure they can get back to prominence.

Lovie can’t convince his buddy Perry Fewell to believe in him and he is considering a job with the Giants that is only marginally more secure than a job with the Bears.  The wheels have come off Lovie’s bus, gang, and nothing can stop it from swerving right off the cliff, so why should I have a seat on that bus when its fate is decidedly grim.

But my friends, I am here to tell you…no more!!!  I am entering rehab and the first step on my 12-step program is to renounce my Beardom.  That’s right, I am finished being a Bears fan.  Much like an alcoholic that gets clean, I guess I still have say I’m a Bears fan, but I am no longer going to drink the orange and blue kool-aid.  I am going to stop watching the Bears and I am going to stop surrounding myself by other Bears fans for fear of slipping back into Bear-aholism. 

This is pretty easy for me since I moved away from Chicago about 6 years ago.  And, no, I am not going to take up a new vice/team to occupy my time.  Instead, I am going to watch football as a passive observer and enjoy the sport.  In the city I currently live in, there is an NFL team and on weeks the Bears are off or playing on Monday night, I have attended games there to watch this other team.  I can’t tell you how much more relaxing and enjoyable it can be to watch an NFL game without a real concern with which team wins.  I can just enjoy the wonderful sport of football without taking years off my life when they lose, tearing my heart out.

Will I fall off the wagon?  I don’t know.  I do know that day won’t come until I feel it is safe to put my faith in an organization that doesn’t care about me as long as I support the team by spending money on the product they sell.  I know many of you may laugh at me or call me a sellout, but after 37 years on this planet, it is time to make a change and look out for myself.  The Bears don’t give a fuck about me, so why should I give a fuck about them!?!?

I welcome your comments as I will still be a part of BGO, albeit in a slightly different capacity.  Feel free to talk me off the ledge or even join me in my new Bear-free lifestyle, but until then…

Can I get an “Amen” ?

The DeCon has spoken…so let it be written, so let it be done…

I’ll hear your confessions at [email protected].

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