Chicago Bears Week 15 Report Card


 

The Chicago Bears played one of their worst games of the season against the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday, losing 38-14.  They were outscored 31-0 in the second half and gave up two pick-sixes.  Caleb Hanie proved that he is not an NFL-ready quarterback.  The Bears receivers and offensive line again played sub-par, showing how incompetent of a GM Jerry Angelo is.  The defense, which has carried the Bears most games, even had a hard time stopping a Seattle team with a lackluster offense and only forced one turnover.  Finally, the Bears were outcoached, period.

I could pick and choose some players/coaches and reiterate the terribleness they showed on Sunday with resounding F’s.  And I could elaborate on the above average play of guys like Stephen Paea, Lance Briggs and Kahlil Bell, but I’m not going to do that.  Even though the Bears are still mathematically in the playoff hunt, we all know that this game was the final nail in the coffin.

Even if the Falcons and Lions lose their last two games, I have a hard time believing the Bears can win two in a row (or even one for that matter) right now.  Call me a pessimist if you want, but the Bears look tired, injured and confused.  Oh, to think back to four weeks ago when all was right and a mere slip on the turf by Johnny Knox started the avalanche that is the Bears 2011 season.

As they say, misery loves company.  So, on this solemnest of days for Bears fans, I’m going to take a look at how some ex-Bears faired this week and what could have been.

Kansas City Chiefs QB Kyle Orton – Leave it to old Neckbeard to KO the undefeated Packers without throwing a TD.  He was 23-for-31 for 299 yards.  This game manager would have looked nice back in Chicago if the Bears could have gotten him off waivers.

San Diego Chargers DT Tommie Harris – We all know Tommie doesn’t have it anymore but he recorded his third sack of the season on Sunday.

St. Louis Rams WR Brandon Lloyd – His five catches for 42 yards couldn’t vault the Rams to victory, but those numbers were just as good, if not better than, all Bears receivers over the last three weeks.

Cincinnati Bengals RB Cedric Benson – I would never advocate getting Benson back, but he’s been a very productive runner over the last couple seasons.  He had 76 rushing yards, 11 receiving yards and a TD this week.  However, he did fumble the ball three times.  Keep him, our running backs only fumble once a game…in OT.

Minnesota Viking WR Devin Aromashodu – His two catches for 29 yards would make him a perfect fit back on the Bears.  Mediocrity is what Angelo loves.

Washington Redskins QB Rex Grossman – 15-for-24 for 185 yards, 1 TD and 2 INTs…Yep, that’s the Rexy I remember.  But wait, he actually won.  Maybe he is getting better.  Probably not, he has thrown at least one INT in 10 of his 11 starts this year.  However, I do miss yelling ‘Sexy Rexy’ and ‘Throwgasms’ every game.

Houston Texans S Danieal Manning – He made four tackles defending against the Panthers, who didn’t have a pass completion over 26 yards.  He also has two picks, four pass deflections and 51 tackles in only 11 games this season.  With the Bears issues at safety, you wonder how they let him get away.

Carolina Panthers TE Greg Olsen – He only had two catches for 15 yards on Sunday, but his 45 catches for 540 yards and 5 TDs would look really good for the Bears right about now.  And he would have been able to block a guy before he dove at and busted up Forte’s knee.  Stupid Martz.

Miami Dolphins RT Marc Colombo – If you don’t know Marc, you are probably like most people, but he just played in his 109th NFL game. The Bears gave up on him due to injuries in 2005.  Since then he has 86 starts in six seasons.  Oh, what could have been.

Kansas City Chiefs C Casey Wiegmann – If you don’t know Colombo, you probably won’t know Wiegmann.  You should though.  He just played his 11,000th consecutive snap on Sunday.  There’s some consistency.  He’s another offensive linemen the Bears let get away.  He left the Bears after the 2000 season and has been a starter ever since.  He even made the Pro Bowl in 2008 at the age of 35.

New England Patriots DE Mark Anderson – We all knew this guy had potential and he’s showing what he only did once with the Bears, this year.  Anderson had two sacks, a forced fumble and a fumble recovery on the fleet-footed Tim Tebow.  That gives him nine sacks on the season, more than everyone on the Bears except Julius Peppers, who has 10.

  • Chicago Irish

    This year has been like waking up X-Mas morning only to realize Santa allowed Rudolph to shit in your stocking. So much excitement building up week after week, only to be completely let down and confused.

    Hey Boom – an idea for a topic to post…when did Bears fans know the Lovie/Angelo partnership was doomed?

    For Lovie: Day of his first interview when he stated “our #1 goal is to beat Green Bay”. No, dipshit, your #1 goal is to win the SB.

    For Angelo: The day he waived Chris Harris (the first time). Mike Brown comes back from injury (actually, he had been injured for the majority of the previous two years) only to get injured again. Harris is gone and the Bears are scrambling for Safety help/depth.

  • Chicago Irish

    This year has been like waking up X-Mas morning only to realize Santa allowed Rudolph to shit in your stocking. So much excitement building up week after week, only to be completely let down and confused.

    Hey Boom – an idea for a topic to post…when did Bears fans know the Lovie/Angelo partnership was doomed?

    For Lovie: Day of his first interview when he stated “our #1 goal is to beat Green Bay”. No, dipshit, your #1 goal is to win the SB.

    For Angelo: The day he waived Chris Harris (the first time). Mike Brown comes back from injury (actually, he had been injured for the majority of the previous two years) only to get injured again. Harris is gone and the Bears are scrambling for Safety help/depth.

  • flowermike

    Deez, what about Thomas Jones?

    Chicago Irish… when we stood pat after the Super Bowl embarrasment, you knew money was the key. Now, we leave how much money unspent under the cap? The field is crap and we are thin at basically every position. The 2007 draft class is a ghost and we gave two first round picks for Cutler and never addressed his protection or skill players. Carimi’s knee is just another tipping point for a failed plan.

    The debacle of the non hires of Marinelli and Martz is profound. No one wanted to work with Lovie and Jerry. Not much more has to be written.

  • Chicago Irish

    SB embarrasment? How was ’85 an embarrasment? Oh, wait a minute, now I remember. That was that game where Devin ran back the opening kickoff…and then it went down hill from there. My shrink has done a wonderful job removing that day from my memory…sorry about that, but it helps with the voices I continuously hear chanting “Lovie must go”…

  • flowermike

    Deez, what about Thomas Jones?

    Chicago Irish… when we stood pat after the Super Bowl embarrasment, you knew money was the key. Now, we leave how much money unspent under the cap? The field is crap and we are thin at basically every position. The 2007 draft class is a ghost and we gave two first round picks for Cutler and never addressed his protection or skill players. Carimi’s knee is just another tipping point for a failed plan.

    The debacle of the non hires of Marinelli and Martz is profound. No one wanted to work with Lovie and Jerry. Not much more has to be written.

  • Deez

    @flowermike Oh, I totally forgot about Jones. He’s getting older but still kicking. He’s currently 22nd all-time in rushing yards. Not a bad little career he’s had.

    And Brad Maynard is still in the league kicking his 35 yard punts for the Browns. He’s on pace for his 15th consecutive season with over 75 punts. I left him out cause I still like Podlesh better, though.

  • Chicago Irish

    SB embarrasment? How was ’85 an embarrasment? Oh, wait a minute, now I remember. That was that game where Devin ran back the opening kickoff…and then it went down hill from there. My shrink has done a wonderful job removing that day from my memory…sorry about that, but it helps with the voices I continuously hear chanting “Lovie must go”…

  • Deez

    @flowermike Oh, I totally forgot about Jones. He’s getting older but still kicking. He’s currently 22nd all-time in rushing yards. Not a bad little career he’s had.

    And Brad Maynard is still in the league kicking his 35 yard punts for the Browns. He’s on pace for his 15th consecutive season with over 75 punts. I left him out cause I still like Podlesh better, though.

  • flowermike

    @Chicago Irish I know CI, I too suffer through therapy.

    It all stared with a childhood filled with Bobby Douglas’ and Avelini’s. Abe Gibron’s and no offense for the first 24 years of my life.

    Then, a miracle happened and DItka changed our course for a brief 3 years before the Packers WWF’d our offense seconds after the whistle.

    What followed ’85 greatness was a melange of offense-less years culminating in the relief of Wandstadt and the emmergence of a new offensive genius, John Shoop. Yes, the wide receiver screen can be thrown 35% of the snaps. Somehow, Dick Jauron parlayed Mike Browns penultimate season into the miracle that was 13-3 and received an extension that still confounds the mind.

    Lovie was next. He of the defensive genius behind the showtime Rams and the 16th ranked defense that year. Nothing like middle of the road coordinators that makes great head coaches.

    My therapist yawned as I continued on.

    A miracle Super Bowl appearance was soon on the horizon, but Ron Turner got in his own way and forgot Deez’s blessed Thomas Johes and handed Sexy rexy the ball with one edict…. Lose spectacularly for Dungy.

    That following offseason, our Bears decided not to change a thing. Our owners were condemned to Bush’s “stay the course’ philosophical simplicity and we mired in less than mediocrity when all we needed was a new offensive direction and to get rid of Benson.

  • flowermike

    @Chicago Irish Part 2

    But Lovie chose another route and my therapist doubled my medications. Jerry and Lovie tired of the efficient Ron Rivera and replaced him with an unknown lacky while retaining the inimitable Turner. The ship had been righted now that the defense was in new hands!

    From there, wheels fell off without ever calling for roadside assistance.

    A talented qb (first of my lifetime) fell into Lovie’s lap and Jerry decided that this new arm needed no protection or running game other than the mercurial Garret Wolfe. Thomas Jones was allowed to walk away from Deez’s radar and a new era in offensive schemes began anew.

    But dear friends, Lovie was not satisfied and he boldly struck where no man had before. He searched for the right minds to navigate our juggernaut and lo and behold…. Marinellli went 0-16 and fell into our laps as our saviour! Glory be, but not without struggle as every other applicant for the job turned down the interviews.

    The offensive side of the offensive equation suffered a similar destiny and Lovie drew from his bag of tricks with the perfect coordinator to implement his “get off the bus running” aesthetic.

    That is how Martz was reborn a Bear.

    The medications do dull the memory and the exact timing of these profound events may suffer lapses of chronology, but keep me calm while I watch Caleb Hanie ascend the throne so proudly kept by Wurfel, Matthews, Fuller, and St Rexy.

    And that is your Christmas story for the day and explains how the Windy Civic became the heavily medicated Windy Cynic.

    The end.

  • flowermike

    @Chicago Irish I know CI, I too suffer through therapy.

    It all stared with a childhood filled with Bobby Douglas’ and Avelini’s. Abe Gibron’s and no offense for the first 24 years of my life.

    Then, a miracle happened and DItka changed our course for a brief 3 years before the Packers WWF’d our offense seconds after the whistle.

    What followed ’85 greatness was a melange of offense-less years culminating in the relief of Wandstadt and the emmergence of a new offensive genius, John Shoop. Yes, the wide receiver screen can be thrown 35% of the snaps. Somehow, Dick Jauron parlayed Mike Browns penultimate season into the miracle that was 13-3 and received an extension that still confounds the mind.

    Lovie was next. He of the defensive genius behind the showtime Rams and the 16th ranked defense that year. Nothing like middle of the road coordinators that makes great head coaches.

    My therapist yawned as I continued on.

    A miracle Super Bowl appearance was soon on the horizon, but Ron Turner got in his own way and forgot Deez’s blessed Thomas Johes and handed Sexy rexy the ball with one edict…. Lose spectacularly for Dungy.

    That following offseason, our Bears decided not to change a thing. Our owners were condemned to Bush’s “stay the course’ philosophical simplicity and we mired in less than mediocrity when all we needed was a new offensive direction and to get rid of Benson.

  • flowermike

    @Chicago Irish Part 2

    But Lovie chose another route and my therapist doubled my medications. Jerry and Lovie tired of the efficient Ron Rivera and replaced him with an unknown lacky while retaining the inimitable Turner. The ship had been righted now that the defense was in new hands!

    From there, wheels fell off without ever calling for roadside assistance.

    A talented qb (first of my lifetime) fell into Lovie’s lap and Jerry decided that this new arm needed no protection or running game other than the mercurial Garret Wolfe. Thomas Jones was allowed to walk away from Deez’s radar and a new era in offensive schemes began anew.

    But dear friends, Lovie was not satisfied and he boldly struck where no man had before. He searched for the right minds to navigate our juggernaut and lo and behold…. Marinellli went 0-16 and fell into our laps as our saviour! Glory be, but not without struggle as every other applicant for the job turned down the interviews.

    The offensive side of the offensive equation suffered a similar destiny and Lovie drew from his bag of tricks with the perfect coordinator to implement his “get off the bus running” aesthetic.

    That is how Martz was reborn a Bear.

    The medications do dull the memory and the exact timing of these profound events may suffer lapses of chronology, but keep me calm while I watch Caleb Hanie ascend the throne so proudly kept by Wurfel, Matthews, Fuller, and St Rexy.

    And that is your Christmas story for the day and explains how the Windy Civic became the heavily medicated Windy Cynic.

    The end.