Handicapping the Big Burrito, The Game That Shan’t be Named
By Bart
It’s going to be super, awesome, fantastic. I’m going to have a bowl of chili while watching. As a matter of fact, I’m going to have a big bowl of chili. A super big bowl of chili, a super bowl – yes that would be fantastic!
I have to admit, I’m a little bit nervous. Not about what is taking place today at about 5:30, but what exactly to call that event. The NFL is very particular about using certain terminology to coin this particular match or competition, so I want to make sure that I don’t offend the super power, I mean the big boss known as the NFL. Speaking of NFL, or as some players in the past coined it: No Fun League, check out a small sampling some of these props:
CELEBRATION SPECIALS: Championship Belt: +350, Dunks football through the uprights +350, River Dance +2000, Quiets the Crowd +600, Mocking or Hitting Mascot +1000, Takes Cheerleaders Pompons +3500
National Anthem Over/Under: 1 minute, 34 seconds
MVP Thanks: God is number 1, No one is number 2, Friends is last – with coaches, teammates, and family in between
Neilson Ratings on viewers: over/under: 117 million (last year it was 111 million fyi)
Steam on-line: over/under 1.5 million
There are hundreds of different ways people can open their wallets to Vegas, gambling websites, their local bookie, or family or friends on this thing taking place in Indy. Not sure if the Giants or the Patriots are going to win? Not feeling to comfortable with picking that over/under on 53.5? Then, how about wagering on whether or not Madonna will take off some article of clothing? How about betting how many times you hear “high-ankle sprain” today? How many replays will there be of Tyree’s catch today? Wouldn’t be awesome to know just exactly how much money is exchanged in our country today for pools, bets, fantasy, etc.? I bet we could erase the deficit in one fell swoop if we took it all and piled it up – I bet you!
Summary of 2 Weeks Ago: Man, it was eons ago. I felt like I haven’t seen a real football game in months. If any of you were looking for a handicapping post on the Pro Bowl, then you have more problems than me. Fortunately, for myself, I was able to reverse calls on the over/under for the Giants/49ers game and in “real-life,” I ended up 2-2. However, when I wrote the post 2 weeks ago, I didn’t have time to research the weather for the game – which a significant factor when you are picking over/unders. I am so upset with the outcomes from those games. The Giants did not deserve to beat the 49ers. It is hard to point your finger at one guy, but let’s face it, Williams blew that game for the 49ers. That punt bouncing off of his knee turned the game. You are taught as child that as soon as you make the decision to not field the ball – get the heck away from it – what on earth was he doing anyway? I feel bad for him personally but I am aggravated as a fan. Billy, Billy, Billy Cundiff! Seriously! I don’t think the game was as much on him because you never know what would have happened in OT. Also, there were many other plays in that game that affected the outcome. But, I mean, when that’s your job and it all you do and practice….sigh. I wanted to see a Harbaughl (I didn’t say bowl, I didn’t.) Oh well, on to the final week:
The Voldermort Challenge
New England -3 vs. Giants & OVER 53.5 -Just curious, does anyone remember that New England has won its last 10 games? I mean, everyone is jumping on the “HOT” New York Giants bandwagon. However, I think that everyone forgot about New England, which I find interesting. I know why, and it is a little bit of a struggle for me. New England doesn’t have the greatest Defense in the world (which is why I like the over, you see). Let’s just go back to their playoff games too. Remember Denver? Well, everyone talked about how it wasn’t Tebow that was really behind their success, but their awesome Defense. (um 45 points against). The Baltimore game? It was not a highlight reel for the Patriots, but even at their offensive worst, they put up 23 points. I’ll admit -I’m impressed with the Giants surge. I did not feel that they would beat the Packers and the 49ers. The Packers game was a signature win for them, I feel they got lucky 2 weeks ago. The Patriots will not hand them the game today like the 49ers. The fearsome front four of the Giants will have their hands up on their hips trying to catch their breath as the Patiots nickel and dime ’em all the way up the field. The Giants won’t know how to stop the NE machine. The 3 points in this one won’t matter – much like how it hasn’t in all of the previous 45……THINGS where the guys run around, catch the pigskin, and tackle one another.
It has been an exciting season, my friends. Until we meet again……if you want to know where to find me in the offseason – I enjoy this little thing that they call MARCH MADNESS. (Can I say that, will the NCAA get mad…??) Enjoy your evening!!! BART