The Cover Stew: Cutler Promises to Settle Forte Contract Dispute
By DeCon
Jay Cutler, along with fiancé, Kristen Cavallari are spending some time on the west coast before Cavs is due to give birth to their first child, a boy, due very soon. The couple recently made an announcement.
“You know, I have figured out how to settle Matt Forte’s contract dispute,” Cutler said. “Kristen and I have decided we are going to name our baby after him.”
However, it is not what you think, Cutler and Cavallari will not be naming the bouncing baby boy Matthew or Matt or any derivation thereof. Rather, the couple has another name for the soon- to-be rocket armed, reality loving baby.
“We are going to name him, Forte,” Cavallari stated. “I love the way ‘Forte Cutler’ rolls off the tongue and many people might not know, but Jay is 1/3 French, so I like that ‘Forte’ can make part of the baby’s heritage obvious.”
Calls to Forte to determine the impact of this promise have been unanswered. However, Cutler assured, “I have been texting with Matt all along and when I told him about the baby name, he told me he would see me at camp, so, you know, to me it’s a done deal.”
When word got around Halas Hall, not everyone was happy. A dejected Earl Bennett didn’t at all seem pleased, “Man, I just wish Jay would have told me first, so I could have been the one to let everyone know.”
The Cover Stew is a satirical look at the Chicago Bears, Football and Life in General.