Proud papa and Chicago Bears QB, Jay Cutler, recently brought his new bundle of joy to introduce him to the rest of the team. Little Camden Jack Cutler, or CJ as he is known, fell asleep on the way to Bourbonnais.
“You know, I am really happy I was able to bring CJ to meet the fellas,” gushed a choked up Cutler. “These guys are like my family, but, you know, CJ is now really my family, so it was nice to introduce him around.”
Upon arriving at camp with little CJ, J’Marcus Webb offered to carry the baby car seat after Cutler had pulled the little guy out to pass him around. Upon seeing that Webb was asked to protect the baby’s car seat, Chris Williams shoved Webb who was off balance holding the car seat and he fell to the ground crushing the car seat in the process.
“Man, I was drafted to be the left tackle of the future and they give the job to that fool?” barked Williams. “No man, if they give him the left tackle position and made me the swing tackle, who better to hold a car seat than me? Cutty coulda put CJ back in there and I woulda rocked him to sleep.”
Of course Cutler’s oldest friend in the NFL, WR Brandon Marshall, wanted to meet Cutler’s little boy. Unfortunately, near disaster ensued when upon taking little CJ from Cutler, Marshall proceeded to let him slip through his fingers. Fortunately, the elder Cutler’s security blanket was nearby and Earl Bennett, swooped in to catch little CJ before any damage could be done.
“You know, this was quite a day for little CJ,” said a relieved Cutler. “I am just glad Kristen wasn’t here to see this. You know, we’re coming together as an offense and these things happen. BMarsh is more of a “go up and get it guy” so I probably should have lifted CJ up a little higher when I handed him over. Thankfully, Earl was there to save the day and I am sure he already tweeted about it.”
The Cover Stew is a satirical look at the Chicago Bears, Football and Life in General.