J’Marcus Webb was summoned to the Commissioner’s office this morning in the midst of another bounty scandal. Webb was spotted with a thick envelope in the tunnel at Lambeau Thursday night following the Bears’ 23-10 loss to the Packers, a loss in which Webb struggled to contain Clay Matthews and allowed 2.5 sacks and committed a false start penalty. Sources with knowledge of the situation indicated that Webb was implicated for collecting a share of the Packer’s bounty that had been placed on Jay Cutler.
After further investigation, the envelope was believed to be stuffed with cheddar cheese. It turns out the Packers found a way around the bounty system by paying out in cheese.
“I have no comment on the situation,” Webb explained. “It might look like I gave up a few sacks, but you didn’t see the tape. Besides, did you see that guy [Matthews]? He’s build like a wedge of Wisconsin’s finest Muenster.”
The Commissioner’s office has their hands tied, as there is no evidence of the payout. Turns out J’Marcus ate the cheese on the trip back from Green Bay with a box of Ritz crackers and a big hunk of salami.
The Cover Stew is a satirical look at the Chicago Bears, Football and Life in General.