Report: Chicago Bears Set to Name Jay Cutler Player-Coach

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Jay Cutler has gotten a reputation as a coach killer.  If this “report” out of Halas Hall is right, the next coach he kills will be himself.

NFL insider Alan Schefler is reporting that in a surprising turn of events the Chicago Bears are set to name Jay Cutler player-coach after dismissing Marc Trestman as head coach.  GM Phil Emery indicated this was the plan all along:

“The whole leak to the media and benching were all part of our master plan.  We wanted to see how Jay would hold up to the pressure and he held up like a true champion.  He took the high road and demonstrated the leadership that will be required to turn this team around.  When we paid Jay the massive contract extension, we were looking toward the future, thinking that this move might be a few years away, but the future is now.”

Cutler certainly knows how to coordinate offenses.  He’s been through several coordinators in his Chicago Bears career.  He’s seen several different systems between Ron Turner, Mike Martz, Mike Tice and now Marc Trestman that he’s uniquely qualified to put together the optimal playbook.

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“We’ve given Jay everything we could give him except control.  We feel this is the ultimate move to give Jay the freedom to run an offense as he sees fit.  We feel like the league is headed in this direction, with guys like Peyton Manning running their own offense” noted Ted Phillips.  “We extended Brandon to ensure that Jay has continuity in his offense.  Together, Jay and Brandon should give the Chicago Bears offense everything they need to build on last season’s success without interference from meddling coaches.”

The move of a player-coach is not unprecedented for the Chicago Bears.  “My grandfather was player-coach for the Bears in the 1920’s and he led them to a championship,” George McCaskey stated.  “We’ve seen the same characteristics in Jay that Papa Bear Halas had.”

Cutler will put in extra time during the offseason program to put together a staff.  He’s expected to name former teammate Brian Urlacher as defensive coordinator and to bring in Josh McCown to be offensive coordinator.  “We wanted McCown to come in as OC, so he tanked in Tampa to get himself fired. Josh has all that touchy-feely stuff that relates to teammates and brings everyone together.  He’ll be the glue that holds us together on the sidelines while I’m in there lighting it up with my rocket arm.  I’ll get myself on the move in the pocket and cut out all of these BS wide receiver screens.  The fans want us to air it out and dammit that’s what we’re going to do.  As for Url, we’ve had our differences, but at the end of the day, the guy knows defense.  He’ll bring back some of Lovie’s old stuff and bring a fire back to the defense.”

The move helps the Bears get a jump on their offseason program while other teams are scouring the streets for coaches, the Bears can begin preparations for their 2015 season.  Marc Trestman had little to say on his way out other than to say that the locker room was in a good place after a good week of practice.