Dec 16, 2012; Cleveland, OH, USA; Cleveland Browns fans cheer during a game against the Washington Redskins at Cleveland Browns Stadium. Washington won 38-21. Mandatory Credit: David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

The Cleveland Browns are on the clock.  The Browns had a big draft in 2012, picking up a couple of key offensive starters with running back Trent Richardson and quarterback Brandon Weeden with a pair of first round picks.  Unfortunately, those solid pickups didn’t translate to wins, going just 5-11 in a season when the usually tough Steelers had a down year.  (more…)

Todd Collins broke a sweat for the first time in a Bears uniform (AP Photo via NFL.com)

The Chicago Bears put the finishing touches on a perfect preseason – perfectly awful.  After their 13-10 loss to the Cleveland Browns, the Bears dropped to 0-4 on the preseason and failed to win a single preseason game for the first time since 1998.  Ask anyone in the Bears’ locker room and they’ll tell you that it’s just practice and it doesn’t matter, but let’s face it – this team simply doesn’t pass the sniff test.  I am willing to throw the record out if I had seen something – ANYTHING – that resembled good football in these preseason “glorified practices.”

There have been gaping holes along the offensive line, allowing 19 sacks in the preseaon including 10 of starter Jay Cutler. But the holes along the offensive line are minuscule compared to the holes in Lovie Smith’s Cover-Who defense.  Teams continued to convert 3rd downs at an alarming rate.  Even the usually sold special teams showed major lapses, including poor coverage, blocked kicks and blocked punts in three of the four games.

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I keep trying to remind myself of Allen Iverson’s preseason philosophy:

That YouTube clip is playing on a loop in Lovie Smith’s office.  There have been gaping holes on both sides of the ball yet despite that, don’t expect to see much from the guys you’ll actually see playing on Sundays.

Jay Cutler has already been ruled out.  I guess 10 sacks in less than a full game’s worth of action was enough to convince Lovie that Jay knows how to take a fall.   So you’ll get a steady dose of Todd Collins (if he survives).  Lance Briggs won’t play and don’t expect to see Urlacher either.  If you blink you’ll probably miss your other favorites, unless Jarron Gilbert is a favorite.

Speaking of Gilbert, rhe coaches will focus their attention on the bubble guys.  Fans should focus on reruns of The Office because you ain’t gonna learn anything about this Bears team that you don’t already know.  See you after practice!

BEAR DOWN!!!

By my count, Sam is 2-1 in the preseason, which is more than I can say for the 0-3 Bears.   Oh wait, I forgot, these don’t count so I guess our record is still 0-0.  Lovie’s starting to get to me too I guess!

*Note, the sim was run before Brian Urlacher and Jay Cutler were officially ruled out of Thursday night’s preseason finale against the Browns.

We all know that the most meaningless of the meaningless preseason games is the last preseason game.  The starters will play a series (if at all) and the biggest focus is getting out injury free.  There’s been a lot of hand wringing about the 0-3 start and Bears fans are desperate for any kind of win to get even a smidge of confidence before the Detroit game in Week 1.  I’m afraid our Madden sim prediction doesn’t show that to be the case.

It didn’t start off well for the Bears with the Browns opening up a 17-0 halftime lead behind a pair of short TD runs and a Phil Dawson FG.  I guess the Bears can’t fool the Madden simulator.

But there were big plays to be had for the Beloved.  In the 4th quarter Chester Taylor popped for a short 7 yard TD run:

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August 12-15 @ Chargers

The Bears will head to San Diego to face former teammate Nathan Vasher, who just signed a deal to rejoin former DC Bears Ron Rivera and the Chargers.  Jay Cutler should get a warm welcome from his former AFC West rivals and his buddy Phillip Rivers.  It will be weird to be in San Diego and not see LT donning the lightening bolts.

August 19-22 Raiders

Julius Peppers will make his Soldier Field debut against the Silver and Black as the Raiders roll into town.  The big question for me is whether he’ll be chasing down Donovan McNabb Jamarcus Russell or someone else for the enigmatic Raiders.  This is another team that Cutler knows well from his Broncos days, so it should be interesting.

August 26 – 29 Cardinals

The Cardinals roll into Soldier Field for the all-important 3rd preseason game.   Without Kurt Warner or Anquan Boldin, the Arizona offense will definitely take on a new look and all of this while the defense suffered losses of their own.  I think it will be a down year for the Cards and no better place to start it than right here at Soldier Field.  The starters play into the third quarter, so this is a great one to go to Soldier Field to check out.

September 2 – 5 @ Browns

For some unknown reason, the Bears have some longstanding tradition of playing the Browns in the preseason. Why?  Beats me, but they’ll face off with the new-look Browns to close out the practice schedule.  This is a throwaway game that will feature Jerry Angelo’s busts, I mean draft picks, battling for the last few spots on the roster.

There are rumors circulating that the NFL will release the full schedule on April 13th, so stay tuned.

Speaking of the Bears, I was at the game last week and I was so highly disturbed by their offense. I wish I tallied how many times they ran their offense with the exact same formation (2 receivers on 1 side, 1 on the other with the TE in tight). It was seriously about 90% of the time. How about some trips? 5 Wide Receiver sets? Something, Turner, give the Offense a chance.  Pick routes, flood some zones…something?  Please?   Sorry about the Seattle pick last week, that was just a bad call.  2-2 on the week last week.  On to Week 12:

Bengals -13 vs Browns – Seems like Vegas was a little too excited about the Browns scoring explosion last week in Detroit and a little down on Cinci with their poor showing in Oakland.   It is weeks like those that help keep spreads nice like these.

Texans +3 vs Colts – You know, I always pick good upsets and never add them to Bart’s Best.  I think that this is the week that the Colts undefeated season goes down and I’m willing to make it a Bart’s Best pick.  (I think the Saints are going to lose too by the way).

Falcons -12 vs Tampa Bay – I don’t quite understand the 12 point spread and usually I’ll stay away from it (other spreads I don’t like such as-4.5 or -5).  However, Tampa is a bad team and the Falcons really need this one. The Falcons will have 17-21 points by the first half.

Vikings -10.5 vs Bears – until something changes, I don’t even believe they can cover 10.5.  Sad.  Very sad day.  Division rival game and I still don’t think it is going to be close.  Prove me wrong Bears! Prove me wrong!

New Orleans -13.5 at Rams – A Dome is a Dome is a Dome.  The spread is under the dreaded 14 because it is an away game and people got burned by picking New Orleans last week against Carolina (i.e. Me).  Don’t fear the big points this week – keep pounding New Orleans.  It will pan out in the long run.

Broncos -3.5 at Redskins Having a hard time figuring this one out and that usually scares me away from a game.  The Broncos are coming off two losses and it is time to right the ship.  Playing a woefully awful team is the way to do it.  I’m not letting that hook (.5) scare me away on this one.

Ravens -10.5 at Browns Typically would stay away from a “bad blood” rivalry, but this time around, the scales are too heavily tipped Baltimore’s way.  For crying out loud, the Bears beat Cleveland by 24 – you don’t think that Baltimore’s Defense will shut down the Brownies?  Think of it like this: how many points will Cleveland score?  Most – probably 10.  Do you think that Baltimore’s offense can put up 21 or more points?  Well then, load up.

Season Total 19-18

Bears' President Ted Phllips believes the Bears can "pull it out."

Bears President Ted Phillips believes that Lovie Smith can turn it around.  No really.  That’s what he said to Jeff Joniak, the voice of the Bears on flagship WBBM 780 AM during a Monday radio interview.  Here’s the quote if you don’t believe me:

“I know Lovie knows how to get things turned around, so does Jerry [Angelo]. From the top down, there’s disappointment but still believe we can pull it out.”

Not sure if he meant that he and Angelo believe in Lovie or that he believes in Lovie and Angelo from the context, but either way, there’s belief in the notion of a turnaround.  He might be the only one in Chicago that feels that way after another embarrassing loss by his Bears, this latest debacle a 20 point home loss to the Cardinals.

He’s talking about how the Bears can “pull it out.”  My, how our expectations have changed.  Just 4 short weeks ago, the Bears were 3-1 and riding a 3-game winning streak.  After a disappointing season opener in Green Bay, the Bears pulled out home wins against the world champion Steelers and Lions sandwiched around a road win at the always tough at home Seattle Seahawks.

Lovie Smith breaks the season up into quarters.  If the 3-1 record from the first quarter gave fans reason to hope, the recent 1-3 second quarter has given many fans, myself included, reason to pull the sheet over any playoff hopes.  The arrow is definitely pointing downward as the Bears wrap up the first half of the season, having lost 2 of 3 in stunning fashion and the lone win against the lowly Browns.  Teddy Bear Phillips called the first half “schizophrenic.”  More from sweaty Teddy:

“We’re 4-4 and are not happy about that,” he said. “I think everyone here believes we’re a better team than that, better talent than that, expected more than that. [But] our coaching staff has showed ability to overcome adversity in the past….When Lovie was hired we talked a lot about communication and when you win football games everybody is a genius and every decision you make is the right one. The key for an organization is to have people in place that help get you through the rough times.”

In my estimation, that’s being generous.  Let’s look at the four Bears wins this season: (more…)