Does this look like the face of a neo-Nazi? Don't answer that!

Glenn Beck put his foot in his mouth and now, fearing for his life, he’s issued an apology.  Beck caused a stir by referring to Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher as a ne0-Nazi.  Realizing that Urlacher eats pieces of shit like him for breakfast (Urlacher eats pieces of shit for breakfast???), Beck issued the following apology:

“During a segment about myself being named one of the ‘blackest white folks we know’ by the website theroot.com, I made a few comments about some others on the list,” Beck wrote. “Now, I know absolutely nothing about sports, so I didn’t realize that one of them was NFL star Brian Urlacher.

“Since then, I have been informed by my staff that Brian — uh, Mr. Urlacher — could kill me with his thumb in nine seconds if he wanted to. Although if we are talking about people in Chicago wanting to beat me up, he’s going to have to stand in a very long line.

“Anyway, I apologize to anyone who was offended. I just made a neo-Nazi joke based on the short hair and white skin; I don’t actually think he has fascist plans to take over the Earth.”

Beck also referenced jokes he made about others on the list, before taking a shot at reporters who called asking about the Urlacher comment instead of other material from the show.

“In fact all 17 minutes [of the show] on financial reform were true, but the media only called whining about what joke-y name I might have called a star athlete who likely could care less what I say because he can take care of himself,” Beck wrote.

“And they say the media doesn’t focus on the right things?”

For the record, I hate the “if I offended anyone” non-apology.  Better to say, “I said something dumb in a lame-ass effort to be funny.  I am sorry.”  You may now resume hating Glenn Beck and/or preparing for training camp.  That is all.

BEAR DOWN!!!

Attention Fantasy Football players.  Join the best fantasy league around and thanks to our exclusive FanSided discount, get 50% off your new CBS Sports Commissioner League.  Sign up today!

Be sure to keep up with Bear Goggles On wherever you go, with our iPhone and Droid apps.   They’re FREE!  Check em out!

Follow me on Twitter (@BearGogglesOn)

But apparently they also included Glenn Beck and Brian Urlacher on this list along with a bunch of other nonsense names.  So Fox News put a big board in front of Glen Beck to see if he could name any of his colleagues on the list.  Weirdness ensues:

How is Brian Urlacher “the blackest white folk you know”.  Here’s what The Root listed along with his picture:

In an era when most of the notable white NFL players are quarterbacks and kickers, Urlacher stands out as one of the most well-known and successful linebackers in NFL history. Since the start of his NFL career, Urlacher has been invited to six Pro Bowls, and was the 2005 Defensive Player of the Year. Urlacher’s jersey sales rival those of Brett Favre and Michael Vick.

Did I miss something?  Oh… I get it, because he’s white and a Pro Bowl caliber linebacker and not a QB or kicker, that makes him black.  Really?  Are you kidding me?

I know for a fact that Urlacher is not a Neo Nazi.  Here is his favorite scene from The Blues Brothers:

When reached for comment, Urlacher called Glenn Beck a pussy and went back to drinking his bottle of Old English in a paper bag.  Where do people come up with this stuff? I don’t know which is more ridiculous – The Roots for coming up with the list or Glenn Beck for spouting off such nonsense about people he doesn’t know.

BEAR DOWN!!!

Attention Fantasy Football players.  Join the best fantasy league around and thanks to our exclusive FanSided discount, get 50% off your new CBS Sports Commissioner League.  Sign up today!

Be sure to keep up with Bear Goggles On wherever you go, with our iPhone and Droid apps.   They’re FREE!  Check em out!

Follow me on Twitter (@BearGogglesOn)