Favre Retires!

Wake the neighbors! Wake the kids! Brett Favre has retired! Yes, it’s for real this time. Don’t look at me like that, I swear he really did. No, it didn’t leak out of a website or from an undisclosed source, the team announced it was official.

Bears fans are finally rid of Brett Favre and his obnoxious last moment touchdown passes and sudden escapes from blitzing linebackers that has driven us mad for years. We’ll miss your child-like excitement to play the game and play it well every game. We’ll miss your unrelenting insistence that your last name be mispronounced despite its spelling. We’ll miss your yearly press conference to announce your thinking about retiring, only to play again. We’ll miss watching Aaron Rogers sitting on the bench wondering if he’ll ever actually get to play. I won’t miss those Wrangler commercials, I don’t want to eat crawfish with the boys and I don’t want to wear your crappy jeans.

So long Brett Favre, I believe it when I see you sign a contract in the broadcast booth. Even then I’m sure they’ll keep your jersey warm in Green Bay. We have a tendency in Chicago to not know how to keep retired players retired. Don’t make that mistake. Go away….shoo.

I will say that Brett Favre is the best quarterback I have ever seen live at a game. I had countless opportunities to witness Favre cut our defense apart. I’m still bitter about the infamous Halloween game when I sat in pouring rain to watch Favre, in a throwback jersey no less, make us look like a peewee team. He was a true competitor that always had that fire to go out and win. The league has lost one of the last few patriarchs of the game that stand for the love of the game and carrying yourself with dignity off the field. The league could use more Brett Favres to improve it’s image. Now if only we could get one in a Bears uniform.