LOWER THE BOOM!!!

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I”ve had some computer issues which have delayed my usual Thursday posting of Lower the Boom.  In the spirit of the Holidays, I decided not to Lower the Boom on anyone over the last couple of weeks, but the calendar has turned to 2009 and it’s time to take someone to task.  By the way, check out the new logo for this segment that Santa brought me.  Pretty sweet, huh?  I had a few different topics in my sights over the last couple of weeks, but this one was just too perfect.

In her Tuesday Chicago Sun Times column, Carol Slezak makes a bold suggestion:

Vick an intriguing idea for Bears QB

Now that general manager Jerry Angelo has established quarterback as the Bears’ highest priority, I’m thinking about Michael Vick.  He’s scheduled to be released from prison July 20, and he has made it clear he wants to resume his football career.  He’s an intriguing possibility for a team in search of quarterback help.  I wonder if this town could forgive his crimes.

Let’s see, Carol, maybe we could send the Bears’ receivers to the federal pen to work out with Vick.  It’s not like they’d be mistaken for weapons, right?  I can see it now.  Michael Vick getting off the bus in Bourbonnais and jumping right into the quarterback competition.  Maybe Ron Turner will let you flip the coin to see who gets first reps with the starters?

I know that the Bears have been searching for a quarterback since Jim McMahon was mooning helicopters in New Orleans in January of 1986, but Michael Vick?   Have we not learned anything from the likes of our own Tank Johnson and Cedric Benson fiascoes?  Ask Jerry Jones how he feels about give Pacman Jones another chance.  The Cowboys released him the other day, so maybe we should go get him too.  How quickly we forget about some of the most despicable behavior ever exhibited by a so-called NFL superstar.

I say so-called superstar, because I believe Michael Vick was a PR/marketing/ESPN creation and not a legit NFL quarterback.  Sure he could run, but running alone does not a quarterback make.  His passing stats are average and his per game numbers don’t differ too much from our very own neck-bearded hurler.  Their QB rating, yards per game and TDs per game are comparable.

It’s especially surprising that this suggestion comes from Carol Slezak, who in May of 2007 wrote this of then-first-round pick Greg Olsen and the “7th Floor Crew” rap that became public shortly after the draft:

After listening to all 8 minutes and 56
seconds of this unbelievably disgusting rap, I was shaking in anger and shock.
How is it possible for these young men to have such little respect — or is it
hatred? — for women? If Don Imus got fired for the comments he made about the
Rutgers women’s basketball team, these guys deserve jail time by comparison.

Carol, you were “shaking in anger and shock” over an admittedly crass rap song performed by a college freshman, but a guy who murders dogs?  Right this way Mr. Vick!

Let’s assume he will leave federal prison rehabilitated in every way.
Let’s assume he has learned the serious nature of his crimes and is
repentant. Let’s assume he is drug-free. Let’s assume that NFL
commissioner Roger Goodell reinstates him. Under these circumstances,
is there any reason why the Bears shouldn’t be interested in him?

Carol, as we’ve all heard, you shouldn’t assume, it makes an ass out of you…

BOOM!!!

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