Packers Jokes

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It’s Packers week, so I thought it would be appropriate to re-post some old joke to get things going.  Enjoy and feel free to add your favorites in the Comments section…

Shipwrecked

A Bears fan, a Packers fan, and a Vikings fan get shipwrecked on an island and some natives take them to their king.  At first, the king plans to execute them, then, he decides to grant them one wish, twenty lashes on the back, and let them go.
The Vikings fan wishes for a pillow strapped to his back. It doesn’t hold well during the whipping and broke after 5 whips, leaving 15 painful marks on his back.  The Packers fan wishes for 2 pillows.  It lasts for ten whips and he ended up screaming in pain.  When it was the Bears fan’s turn though, a smile came across his face.

“I wish for 300 whips,” the king thought the Bears fan was being very brave and noble, so he gave him another wish. “I wish the Packers fan was strapped to my back!”

Cheesehead School teacher

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they are
Cheeseheads too.

No one really knowing what a Cheesehead was, but wanting
to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy
fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen
who has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has
decided to be different.

“Because I’m not a Cheesehead.”

“Then”, asks the teacher, “what are you?”

“Why, I’m a proud bear Fan,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Kristen why she is a rebel.

“Well, my mom and dad are Bear Fans, so I’m a Bear Fan too.”

The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if
your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”

A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Kristen, “I’d be a Cheesehead”

Rapid Fire

Q: What is the difference between a Packer fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: Did you here about the Packer fan that died at a pie eating contest?
A: The cow kicked him in the head!

Q: What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan?
A: An anorexic!
Q: What do you call a beautiful girl in Green Bay?
A: A tourist.

Q: What do you call a blind date with a Packer Backer?
A: Brown-bagging it.

Q: What’s the real reason that women from Green Bay can always keep their figures?
A: Hell, no one else wants them.

Q: What do you call a good looking woman with a Packer fan?
A: A hostage

Q: Why do Packer fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them as well.

Q: What’s the difference between a porcupine and Lambeau Field?
A: The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine.

Q: Why can’t Ryan Grant get into his own driveway?
A: Someone painted and endzone on it.

Q: What does a hunter without a gun in the middle of a forest and Green Bay have in common?
A: Neither of them can stop the Bears

Q: What do cheeseheads and hemorrhoids have in common?
A: They’re both a pain in the butt and never seem to go away completely.

Q: How do you circumcise a Packer Fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: How does a Packer fan find a sheep in the vast rolling hills of Wisconsin?
A: Satisfying!!!

Q: What do you call a Packer fan with a sheep under his arm?
A: A pimp.

Q: Why does Lambeau Field have the new hybrid turf?
A: To keep the fans from grazing during the game.

Q: What do you call a sober Packer fan?
A: A liar.

Q: How do you save a drowning Packer fan?
A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: Why did Ryan Grant get so excited after he finished his jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: Why did the Cheese head put a trash can at the alter during his wedding?
A: To keep the flies off his bride.

Q: What does a Wisconsin tornado have in common with a Cheese head going through a divorce?
A: Either way… someone’s losing a trailer.

Q: How did the Packer fan die at the Pie eating contest?
A: HE GOT KICKED BY THE COW!!

Q: Did you hear about the fire at the Packers’ library facilities?
A: Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet.

Q: What’s the sad part of a bus full of Packer fans going off a cliff?
A: There’s an empty seat!

Q: Why is it a good idea to bring a Packer fan along to a Vikings game?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How do we know the tooth brush was invented in Green Bay?
A: Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a TEETH brush!

Q: What do you say to a drunken alcoholic who is passed out on your car after a Packer game?
A: “May I have your autograph Mr. Favre?”

Q: What doe’s a Tampon and the packers have in common?
A: Only good for one period and they don’t have a second string!!

Q: What do you call a Wisconsin girl that can run faster than her brothers?
A: A virgin.

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