Jay Cutler – The Playoff Virgin

The Bears playoff chances hinge on this awkward, inconsistent playoff virgin. (Awesome graphic courtesy of Sabre Design)

The next snap that Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler takes will be his first postseason action since his Indiana 3A high school state championship for Heritage Hills High School.   It’s no secret that first time quarterbacks can fold under the pressure of the playoffs.

Jay’s a playoff virgin and it’s up to this sometimes awkward, nervous, mistake-prone kid to lead the Bears to the promised land and it’s up to us to give him the advice any virgin needs their first time.  Hit it after the jump. 


Everyone’s been there before and nerves are to be expected.  It’s OK.  Take a deep breath and just relax.

Go Slow

Things will move faster than you’re used to the first time you really do it.    Just slow it down and you’ll be fine.

Use Protection

Things can be pretty crazy out there, so you’d better use your protection.   Hopefully your protection won’t let you down – the results can be catastrophic.

Do What Comes Naturally

There’s going to be a lot swirling around in your head and you might panic. It’s OK, just do what comes naturally.

Take What You Can Get

Don’t be greedy.  You know,  no means no.  You might think you see an opening, but it may not be there.   If you try to force it into a tight spot, you’re likely to end up taking an early cold shower.

A Quick Release is OK

You’ve been waiting for this for quite a while for this and you want to make a big play, but it’s OK to get rid of it quickly.

Enjoy yourself

This is supposed to be fun, remember?   Most importantly, enjoy yourself.

Get the Hell Out of There

When all else fails, run like hell.

Do you have any advice for our playoff virgin?  Show us what you’ve got in the Comments section.  It’s painless, really!

Have fun in the playoffs Jay.  Hope you score often!!  Say hi to Kristin for us!  By the way, did I mention my new friends at SabreDesign yet?  Awesome work on the poster!


Next Bears Game View full schedule »
Friday, Aug 2222 Aug7:00at Seattle SeahawksBuy Tickets

  • DeCon

    My advice for Jay would be, if you see any blood, don’t panic, it’s part of the game! BEAR DOWN!!!

    • makdawg

      Don’t blow your wad with first contact.

  • http://nfl mike

    stay home you dont have it

  • deez

    Once you finish, don’t look back – The first time time, especially at Soldier Field, will be sloppy. Get the job done and put it behind you, no one is ever proud of the first time. Mistakes will be made, just chalk it up to experience. Don’t even watch the video the next morning.

  • The Big Time

    Advice to Cutler: Time to step up and continue to do what you do best. Block out the haters and run your way and throw your way to an above all odds victory. Jat Cutler is as underrated in this game as Peyton Manning is overrated.

    • That guy

      So he’s not underrated at all?

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  • MorpheusSFH

    Funny stuff. But seriously, I am having doubts he will be up to the challenge. Being in the spotlight in a high pressure situation has not been his strong point yet. His O-line better protect him and the defense needs to be awesome for him to have a chance. Seahawks are coming with huge momentum after the upset of the Defending Superbowl Champs.

  • makdawg

    No need for more than one “sac” for victory. But I have a feeling there’s going to be 5 or 6 more showing up in your backfield at this party.

  • Oldstyle

    -Stay in the pocket, don’t scramble.
    -Use a pump fake now and then.
    -Hit the tight end once in a while.
    -Make sure that you are out of the box before you throw it away.

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