Well, Gramps is already bored from riding on his lawnmower and not hearing his named mentioned on ESPN that he has volunteered to be a mentor to, or rather tutor, this year’s number 1 pick, Cam Newton. One of the world’s biggest prima donnas, Gramps, just can’t stay out of his own way. Sure, he may just be doing this for the love of the game, or maybe he is doing it to keep up his business of selling those God-awful camo hats with the number 4 on it…I think the latter…
But while we are on the subject, I have some ideas on what Gramps could teach young Cam…check them out after the jump…
Of course I would love to hear your ideas on what Gramps can teach Cam in the comments, but here are some ideas we have come up with:
- How to properly use a camera phone to achieve the best image possible for
- Fun with Vicodin.
- Proper tackling technique after an interception.
- Holding an organization hostage while you waffle.
- Riding lawnmower skills for those tough to reach places.
- Getting your “people” to set up dates with young cheerleaders.
- Marital and extra-marital relationships.
- My favorite…HOW TO TAKE A FALL!!!
CAN I GET AN AMEN?!?!?!?!?!
The DeCon has spoken, so let it be written, so let it be done…