Sunday is going to be an epic day, a day that I’ll never forget. Assuming the Bears take care of their business and beat the Detroit Lions, Bears fans will have to “root” for the Green Bay Packers to beat the Minnesota Vikings so the Beloved can make the playoffs. It’s a situation of biblical proportions, as prophesied in Ghostbusters (click refresh on your browser if a video clip doesn’t appear below):
So how do you cope with this situation? How do you go against every instinct in your Papa-Bear-Fearing body? How do you go against the hard-coded Packer-hating DNA? I’ve come up with my Top 5 ways to cope with this situation?
5. You’re not rooting for the Packers, you’re rooting against the Vikings.
Remember the Vikings, the team with that jerk Jared Allen whose cheap shot block ended Lance Louis’ season? Remember that stupid, annoying as all get out Viking horn? You’re rooting AGAINST that.
4. You’re rooting against Adrian Peterson breaking the rushing record.
No one wants to see a record broken, much less for a division rival like Adrian Peterson to break the single-season rushing record. Since the Vikings will rely on him heavily to win the game, if you’re rooting for him to get stopped there’s a good chance the Vikings lose.
3. The Packers can win as long as Aaron Rodgers gets hurt and will miss the postseason.
The Packers have incentive to win on Sunday so they can secure a first round playoff bye. No one – and I mean NO ONE – wants to see them do anything in the postseason. What’s the best way to ensure they don’t do anything? How about a busted leg or strained hamstring for Aaron Rodgers? If he’s out, the Packers are toast. What would be better than an injury late in the game with the Packers up far enough that even with a win, getting the Bears into the playoffs, and then getting bounced with Graham Harrell at the helm for their divisional round playoff?
2. If guys like McMichael and McMahon could sell out and wear the Green and Gold, you can sell out for three and a half hours.
Some of your favorite Chicago Bears sold out late in their careers to sport Packers uniforms. If they can sell out, you can for a few hours to root for the Bears to make the playoffs.
1. Alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
We’ve all done things we’ve regretted the next day after consuming extraordinary amounts of alcohol. Get a designated driver or do it from the comfort and privacy of your own couch. For God’s sake, don’t let your neighbors see you doing it. But get good and loaded, put on a blue and orange cheese wedge and get blind drunk saying “Go Pack Go. You swear you’ll never drink again. You’ve done it for no reason at all. This is for a worthy cause. Once the Bears get into the playoffs, anything can happen.
How do you plan on coping with this stressful situation? Post your suggestions in the Comments.
Tags: Chicago Bears