Let’s look at the Bears remaining schedule. I’ll assume we want, and maybe need to win them all:
Sun Dec 1 Bears @ Vikings
Minnesota is a tough place to play. Don’t think for a minute they hate the Pack or the Lions enough to help us take division, they hate us too. Hey, Vikings, don’t you want a better draft pick?
Mon Dec 9 Cowboys @ Bears
December supposedly isn’t good for Tony Romo. It is. That is what you call a myth. Look it up. It’s on MNF and it’s at home for us, cold could be working in our favor. I hope there’s a blizzard.
Sun Dec 15 Bears @ Browns
Our regular pre-season buddies. Browns, please don’t pick our game to be one of your good ones. We’ll let you win the next 10 exhibition games, promise.
Sun Dec 22 Bears @ Eagles
Nick Foles where the hell did you come from? You guys get your stadium jail ready with beer and brats for Bears travelers! Have any of you guys ran up the Art Museum steps in Philadelphia like Rocky? I have!
Sun Dec 29 Packers @ Bears
Important no matter what. Could be for division. Let’s hope it is. If it’s just to spoil their chances to go to the playoffs, it will be enough to want to win.
The Lions play Packers, Eagles, Ravens, Giants, and Vikings. Fortunately there are at least two losses in there for them, maybe four. Packers, Giants, Ravens, and Eagles all have a chance to beat them, hell maybe even the Vikings too. Yeah that’s the ticket, let’s hope they lose all of them. We were lucky enough to catch the Giants when they were struggling, tide has changed for them now.
The Packers play Lions, Falcons, Cowboys, Steelers, and Bears. I see three losses at the most here. Cowboys, Steelers and us. We caught the Steelers when they were down, they are back up now. Cowboys is in Dallas for them, and our match up is on our turf, last game of the season. It’s almost as big a match up as the rematch between Rocky and Clubber Lang.
As much opportunity as we’ve had to get ahead, we keep blowing it. It’s like God keeps saying, Daaaaa Beeeeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrsssss. And we keep saying, no thank you, I’m lactose intolerant.
Now, I need help from our readers, tell me why Bears fans should want either the Packers or Lions to win on Turkey day! C’mon comment here, you’re probably off for 4 days this weekend! I’m off 1 day. How hard is it? Don’t you want to be heard? This isn’t the IRS or the CIA. We don’t check to make sure you’re a citizen. We don’t even check for troll-ness or Packer-loving. I read a lot of comments. I’d like it if they were on the best Bears site there is, Bears Goggles On. Quit having butter balls. Get it?