Drivin’ Deez Nuts: Merry Christmas Edition


T’was the night before gameday, when all through Halas Hall,
Not a bear was stirring, not even a football.
The helmets were hung by the lockers with care,
In hopes that Saint Hester would soon would be there.

The linemen were nestled all snug with their pads,
While visions of sacking Sanchez danced in their heads.
And Martz in his sweater, and Tommie in his ninety-one,
Had just settled their brains for the long playoff run.

When out on Soldier Field there arose such a clatter,
Tommie sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the lakefront Martz flew like a flash,
Out onto the field, upon the tore up grass.

The lights shined down on the new-fallen snow
Reflecting brightly on the benches below.
When, what to their veteran eyes should appear,
But a miniature special teamer who all should fear.

With twenty three on his back, there is no one better.
They knew in a moment it must be Saint Hester.
More rapid than eagles his blockers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Melton! now, Rashied! now, Wilson and Bennett!
On, Bullocks! On, Roach! On Kellen and Graham!
To the thirty yard line! to form a wall!
Now block away! Block away! Block away all!”

And then, in a twinkling, I heard near the five,
The catch of a ball and the stadium came alive.
As Martz drew plays in his head, he quickly turned ‘round,
Past he thirty and forty Saint Hester came with a bound.

He was dressed all in orange, from his feet to his shirt,
And his clothes were all tarnished with grass and dirt.
Squeezing the football with strength and malice,
He looked like a soon to be Super Bowl champ, on the field in Dallas.

His mouthguard he held tight in his teeth,
And his cold breath encircled his head like a wreath.
The last defender had grabbed him, around his belly,
And Saint Hester, he laughed, and shook him off like jelly!

He spoke not a word, when he crossed the fifty,
And looked at the big screen, while stepping quite nifty,
And the fans they all cheered in a flash,
And giving a nod, into the end zone he dashed!

He sprang to the air, to his team gave a shout,
And they all came running, as the Jets did pout.
And Martz did exclaim, as the clock struck zero,
“Super Bears Super Bowl, thanks to Saint Hester our hero!”

Merry Christmas, Everyone!  Go Bears!