What is it with Lance Briggs and The Shocker?


This all started innocently enough.  I was looking up some info about Lance Briggs to write up a little post about how important he would be to Bears-Seahawks game on Sunday since he missed the first matchup.  While doing my research, I came across this picture:

Seems innocent enough, right?  But what’s he doing with his hands?  Notice the ring finger down in the photo?  It looked familiar, but could it be?  That’s the universal sign for The Shocker.   What’s The Shocker you ask?  Follow the jump to find out.

Urban Dictionary defines The Shocker as follows:

"Shocker The act of inserting 2 fingers into the vaginal opening (normally the index and middle fingers), and 1 into the anus (normally the “pinky” finger). This is usually performed when she is laying back, in the “deep thrust” position (see “deep thrust” for more hardcore info). Commonly described a numerous number of ways, e. g. 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink; two in the grass one in the ass; two in the slut one in the butt; two in the koot, one in the boot; goin to town with one in the brown; and many more, this method of sexual gratification is one sought out by people of all levels. But only grand masters, like the Big Johnson have perfected it."

So then I thought maybe it was just a coincidence; that the camera had caught Lance a just the right moment.  Then I started digging through the Chicago Tribune’s photo archives and look what we have here.

Butt (pun intended) wait, there’s more:

And another:

I know that Lance is a big comic book geek, so I wonder if he gets re-incarnated as a Superhero, he’ll be known as The Shocker?

There’s a big game on Sunday.  Let’s just hope that Lance and the Bears don’t get a shocker courtesy of the underdog Seahawks.


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