Bear Fan’s Guide to British Slang
On the job – If you are on the job, it could mean that you are hard at work, or having sex. Usually the context helps you decide which it is!
On the piss – If you are out on the piss, it means you are out to get drunk, or to get pissed.
On your bike – A very polite way of telling someone to f*** off.
Pants – This is quite a new expression – I have no idea where it came from. Anyway, it is now quite trendy to say that something which is total crap is “pants”. For instance you could say the last episode of a TV show was “total pants”.
Pass – This means I don’t know and comes from the old TV show, Mastermind, where contestants were made to say “pass” if they did not know the answer to the question.
Piss up – A piss up is a drinking session. A visit to the pub. There is an English expression to describe someone as disorganised which says that he/she could not organise a piss up in a brewery!
Pissed – This is a great one for misunderstanding. Most people go to the pub to get pissed. In fact the object of a stag night is to get as pissed as possible. Getting pissed means getting drunk. It does not mean getting angry. That would be getting pissed off!
Puff – If a Brit starts giggling in your local drugstore – it may be because they have just found a box of Puffs. To some of us Brits a Puff is another word for a fart. Stems from the cockney rhyming slang, to “Puff a dart”.
Pull – Me and the lads used to go to the disco when we were on the pull. It means looking for birds. Of course, it works the other way round too. The ladies may also be on the pull, though probably a bit more subtly than the chaps!
Pussy – This is what we call our cat, as in “pussy cat”, or in the fairytale, Puss in Boots. So if you have a Brit neighbour who asks if you have seen their pussy – try to keep a straight face and think back the last time you saw their cat!
Queer – Apart from the obvious gay link, this word used to be used a lot to mean someone looked ill. As in “You look queer”. Of course you might not say that these days in case you get either picked up, or thumped!
Quid – A pound in money is called a quid. It is the equivalent to the buck or clam in America. A five pound note is called a fiver and a ten pound note is called a tenner.