The Cover Stew: Lovie Smith Guarantees a Superbowl Victory for the Bears in 2012


Lovie Smith has long been known in Chicago as a man of a modest demeanor and thoughtful in his words.  These characteristics are some that players over the years have highlighted as some of his best qualities.  That changed recently when the coach made a bold statement to a huddled mass of reporters, which of course started with a Lovie-esque question.

“Are we going to win the Superbowl in 2012?  Of course we are.  I guarantee it,” Smith said.

Stunned reporters couldn’t react to picking their jaws up of the ground quickly enough before they clamored for the coach to explain where this guarantee was coming from.  Even though this was shortly after the Bears inked RB Matt Forte to a 4 year deal, you can imagine their surprise.  Lovie has never guaranteed anything beyond the fact that the Cover-2 is here to stay.

“I have been in Chicago for a while now building our program with the Bears organization and I have seen the coaches of the other professional Chicago teams win championships,” Smith said.  “I like to think I know a little about football, but these other Chicago coaches…of course I am talking about Ozzie, Coach Q, Phil Jackson with the Bulls and even Coach Ditka…they all had the missing ingredient that I am going to adopt for the 2012 season.  Effective immediately, I am going to grow out my facial hair.”

GM Phil Emery added, “Lovie and I have been talking about this for a long time and I am 100% in support of Lovie growing out his facial hair.  The team needs it, the city needs it, the McCaskey family needs it.  You could say it is facial hair or bust this year.”

Smith failed to comment further whether this new found fondness for facial hair had anything with a prospective endorsement deal with Norelco for a new mustache and beard trimmer.  Below are some of our best guesses on what the new look of Coach Smith might be…

 The Cover Stew is a satirical look at the Chicago Bears, Football and Life in General.