Dec. 23, 2012; Glendale, AZ, USA: Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith against the Arizona Cardinals at University of Phoenix Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
Former Chicago Bears Head Coach is reportedly on the list of possible candidates to replace the departed Lane Kiffin at USC. Smith and his representatives have denied the claim that Smith has been contacted. The Cover Stew has learned that as a part of the hiring process, all potential coaching candidates are required to partake in a mock recruiting discussion with a top recruit. The Cover Stew has also learned that Smith completed that mock recruiting discussion for a top quarterback recruit and we have been able to obtain that transcript…
Smith: First of all, I just want to say how happy I am that you decided to consider the University of Southern California for your college education and I am hopeful that you will become a big part of what our football program is going to be for the next 4 years.
Recruit: Thanks Coach Lovie. I appreciate you coming to my house to meet with me.
Smith: Of course, I love to come to people’s houses. It’s when you leave the house without a verbal commitment that you become concerned.
Recruit: I understand Coach Lovie. I don’t think that will be a problem. Can you tell me more about the offense you plan to run? I think my skills at quarterback can fit any scheme.
Smith: Of course, our team with get off the bus running. Our quarterback will fit that scheme and protect the football.
Recruit: Will I have a chance to start my freshman year?
Smith: I will be clear on this point…Rex is our quarterback.
Recruit: Uh, Rex who coach?
Smith: Rex Grossman is our quarterback. He has at least 1 year of eligibility left.
Recruit: So, will I be able to compete?
Smith: Rex is our quarterback.
Recruit: Ok, I get it. I also played some linebacker, Mike linebacker to be exact. Will I have a chance to play that?
Smith: Of course, we always want our players to play a position they are comfortable with. Your case is no different. Our defense, the Tampa-2, is predicated on takeaways and as the Mike backer, your role will be to basically run away as quickly as possible from the line of scrimmage to cover the deep middle of the field. If nothing comes your way, then you have done your job. I don’t mind when teams check down the ball all the way down the field, because then Charles or Tim will usually come up with a big play.
Recruit: Who are Charles and Tim, Coach?
Smith: They will be our starting cornerbacks.
Recruit: You mean Charles Tillman and Tim Jennings? Don’t they play for the Bears?
Smith: Well, of course, they do play for the Bears, right now, but I expect once we bring in a top recruit like you, they will be joining our program soon.
Recruit: Oh, I see. Well, what about Brian Urlacher? Is he joining the program too?
Smith: You cannot replace a Brian Urlacher, but right now Brian has made his decision to retire from football. I respect Brian as if he were my own son. If it weren’t for Brian, I wouldn’t be able to sit in front of you today.
Recruit: Ok, Coach, but what about all the problems USC has had recently with players being paid and losing scholarships and all that. How are you going to prevent something like that?
Smith: Of course our program will follow all the rules and procedures of the NCAA. Players will educated on the damage not following those rules can mean for our program. In order to be certain our program holds up to the scrutiny of the NCAA, I am planning to hire Cliff Stein to personally oversee our compliance efforts.
Recruit: I have heard of Mr. Stein. Doesn’t he still work for the Bears?
Smith: Whenever you set out on an endeavor like this young man, you make sure to bring those people in that you can trust. I trust Cliff and Cliff trusts me. He will be joining our staff soon.
Recruit: Right Coach, well, all this sounds great, but I think I am going to need some more time to think about my options.
Smith: I understand, son. Please know that our football program wants you. Of course, I will have to let you know that I am having dinner later tonight with another potential recruit who may be able to play the Mike backer for us…do you know Lance Briggs?
The Cover Stew is a satirical look at the Chicago Bears, Football and Life in General.