A Fan’s Non-expert take on Bears Week 13 OT loss to Vikings

Dec. 23, 2012; Glendale, AZ, USA: Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith against the Arizona Cardinals at University of Phoenix Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

By offensive I don’t mean he acts like my wife says I act. I mean that Lovie was a defensive guru, Trestman is an offensive guru, and is still getting his feet wet at that. Too gutsy one week, too timid the next. Lovie wasn’t all bad, but that near success for 8 years was hard to take. One phase is tops in the league, the other is closer to the bottom. All we did was switch girlfriends that take different meds. If we could have both these guys harmoniously working together, it would be like a Reese’s peanut butter cup. Before you go whining about that comparison, remember how much you love a Reese’s peanut butter cup.

Maybe I’m just emotional after such a loss. I mean, I thought we lost with the first Blair Walsh kick. Beth came up and kissed me and said she was sorry for my loss. Then I saw the flag! He missed the long one with the penalty yards tacked on, of course. Wow, another chance! We got ourselves in position and Robbie Gould was set to kick. I’m very confident in him……….. he misses. The Vikings get the ball back, and are able to win the game.

This season has felt like getting beat up by Gary Coleman.

I know what that feels like. I will tell you guys about it to help you through this difficult time for Bears fans.

Sometime around 1978 I was living in Mundelein, Illinois. I was 10 years old. I had French neighbors that had three daughters maybe a couple of years younger than me. They had visitors, this family was from Zion. A kid, maybe 10 or 11 and I met. We were both playing outside and I was pushing him on one of the girl’s tricycles. Just pushing him. He was steering. Well this little genius ran himself into a wall. Before I knew what was going on, I was being dragged on the ground by my hair, (which was long.) Have you ever seen the Tasmanian Devil? That was this kid. What did I do wrong? HE WAS STEERING! It wasn’t really much of a fight and I blame his element of surprise. Plus, the fact that I was a big wussy. I did what any kid would do in my position, I cried and went and got my big brother, Steve.

The kid was Gary Coleman.

He was not world-famous yet, as he had just started Diff’rent Strokes. In Chicagoland we saw him on those Harris Bank, “You should have a Hubert doll!” commercials. After we all figured out who this kid was, everyone wanted to meet him. Me and him kind of bonded because I might have been the only person he dragged by their hair that day. I also met his parents, the ones who stole all his money. I had a cool time with him and he could definitely work a room. I got his phone number and called him occasionally after school. When he started to get more popular, I had a good story to tell. I told it different ways based on whether I was embarrassed or not. “I met Gary Coleman” or ” I got in a fight with Gary Coleman,” but never ” Gary Coleman beat the crap out of me.” Would you want to tell people that?

There you have it, Bears fans and loyal readers, “Gary Coleman beat the crap out of me.”

Gary Coleman 1968-2010