Did One Thing Go Right for Bears Against Eagles?

I’d like to take a moment (well, this is a blog, so a bit of space, I guess) to express my feelings about Monday night’s purported “contest” between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Chicago Bears. I’d like to, but truly expressing myself would be in direct violation of FanSided Network policy, not to mention the sensibilities of my editors, a couple members of my family and a few BGO readers.

So, I’ll be as polite and delicate as possible here. I threw up in my mouth a little bit during the Bears’ first offensive series, and several more times during the first defensive stand. No, wait, was that a stand or a lie down? The taste of vomit was never far from my mouth for the rest of the night as I suffered through the latest indignity from a Bears team which USA Today aptly described as looking like a Five Alarm Dumpster Fire.

I feel like I’m at a 12-step meeting. “Hi. I’m Kenny, and I’ve been swigging Halas Hall Kool Aid.” Hey, there’s 14 games left. They say that like it’s a good thing. I admit, the transformation of this team from a flaming garbage scow into something that vaguely resembles a football team could be sudden and dramatic, and it could happen this year. Pigs also could fly down my chimney and pick me up and whisk me off to have beer and pizza with Jennifer Aniston.

I understand many of the issues with the offensive line. I still think some of the criticisms have been beyond silly. Example- do you really think Dowell Loggains chose the timing on signing Josh Sitton and moving Cody Whitehair to center? On the other hand, Bobbie Massie has done little besides making his detractors look like prophets. He had better come around a long way in a very short time or he will be recorded as one of Ryan Pace’s collosal early mistakes.

I still see a lot of people mad about Pace letting Matt Forte leave in free agency. If those people actually cared about Forte, they would applaud Pace for not making the poor man run behind this travesty the Bears are trying to pass off as an O-Line. Forte’s getting old, folks. He doesn’t need this. And he sure as the world would not have been enough to turn Monday night’s humiliation into a victory.

The defensive front seven actually got pressure on Carson Wentz, when they could send 5 or 6 guys. They looked like college players rushing the Philadelphia passer once they were forced to spread out. The secondary literally knocked themselves out in coverage. They have earned standard concussion protocol as a reward.

Part of me wants to blame all the injuries. But long before that the Bears already looked about as reliable as a 2001 Pontiac Aztek. The offense could not move the ball at all unless they moved it really fast. By the end of the first half the defense had already played two thirds of a football game. No wonder they had so many injuries in the second half.

Just, please do me a favor and don’t attack Jay Cutler for this. It is not his fault. His body language three or four years ago did not affect the team Monday night. The only bad decision he made Monday was thinking he was tough enough to play through a throwing thumb injury. Dowell Loggains, on the other hand, I’m not going to defend so staunchly anymore. There seemed to be times when he was calling plays he wished would work. But, then, who could blame him since there was nothing he knew would work.

OK, let’s see, is there anyone I should have thrown under the bus that I forgot? The doctors? The trainers? The food vendors at Soldier field? Staley? Staley! What’s wrong with you, you big stupid…MASCOT! May I have my medicine now? I think I’m ready for my medicine.