Chicago Bears: How to guarantee Mitchell Trubisky’s success (satire)

It is always best to find the positive in things rather than dwell on the negatives. With the world going through Hell, we here at BGO have determined how Mitchell Trubisky will win the Chicago Bears starting spot and succeed (satire).

The Chicago Bears made a trade that set social media ablaze a few weeks back. Some fans loved the move and others questioned if Ryan Pace had been hitting the bottle hard during the mandatory “shelter in place” order. Now, when it comes to the COVID-19 pandemic, realize that this is a serious situation and we do not wish the virus on anyone. Not even Aaron Rodgers. Real people are dying and that is not something to make light of right now.

However, there is real news that has come from the pandemic in the sporting world. Sports as we know it have been literally shut down. The NBA and NHL put their seasons on the brakes while the MLB is talking about running a shortened, cactus league season. Now, even reports and rumors are floating around that the NFL season could be in jeopardy.

Everyone is hoping that the world is back to normal by September, but we have to realize that might not be the case. Even though the NFL is planning on playing a full season, the league is working on contingency plans for a shortened season or even a season where fans will not be in the stadium.

Kirk Cousins of the Minnesota Vikings was asked about how he would feel if the games were hosted in empty stadiums. He said he would find it refreshing. Cousins goes on to talk about how it will be nice to just go out and play the game. There would be no need for the theatrics of smoke and fire.

At first, I laughed for a good thirty minutes realizing that Cousins does not want to play in front of fans because he is tired of being booed. Booed on the road and even worse, by his own fans. Then it hit me. Mitchell Trubisky is in the same, if not a worse situation here in Chicago. This poor kid was booed at a Chicago Bulls game before even touching a football at the NFL level. How fair is that? No wonder he wants the televisions turned off.

After crying in my own self-pity from being a Chicago Bears fan for the last 20 or so years, a light bulb went on over my head. I blew the snot from my nose and wiped the tears from my eyes and a smirk started to grow across my face. The question of “what if Cousins is onto something” popped into my head.

As a supporter of Trubisky the last three seasons (and still today for some reason), I held onto a glimmer of hope that I solved Trubisky’s problems and now know how he wins the competition over Nick Foles. Remember how frustrated he got last season. Remember how he wanted the televisions off. Remember how testy he was in his press conferences? I have been to many home games and the boo birds are loud and plentiful.

Now, what if we weren’t there? My wife tells me all the time how crazy I am for yelling at the television. She reminds me that the coaches and players cannot hear me from my couch. I do my best to prove her wrong by making sure my neighbors can at least hear me, but she is right. This my fellow Bears fans is the key and answer to unlocking the Patrick Mahomes inside Trubisky. Even after we defeat this pandemic, the Chicago Bears big wigs should push for no fans anyway.

Yep, if Trubisky were to play in an empty stadium, he would dominate the Foles competition. More importantly, he would dominate his opponents. Once the games are over, Trubisky can dominate the empty press conference rooms too. Yep, he is THAT good and will have no problem answering his own questions. You are welcome. We now have a legit franchise quarterback on our hands.