Reader, it has been a day.
The Bears held their end-of-year press conferences on Tuesday, and fans got to hear from GM Ryan Poles and team president Kevin Warren for the first time in months. I don't need to tell you that the answers were abysmal, but reader, the answers were abymsal.
RELATED: George McCaskey's latest comments offers a terrifying reality of the Bears HC search
After a 10-win season ended up actually being a five-win season, Bears fans were treated to a bunch of buzzwordy nonsense that was clearly proofread by the team's in-house council before the press conferences started. There was dopey coach talk, dopey stadium talk, and everything in between. We got basically no real answers from the team, which is only good because I think their real answers would have probably been worse.
One of the worst answers from today's buffet of them came from Warren. When asked about what the deal is with Ryan Poles' contract, Warren gave an answer that is, honestly, impressive in its ability to give no answers while using twice as many words as necessary. It is the most Corporate Executive answer you could possibly imagine.
Kevin Warren's comment on Ryan Poles' contract is the perfect example of Corporate Speak nonsense
"I mean, there are a lot of assumptions in your question," Warren replied. "When we say 'long term' you know, a year is a lifetime. And I know that's important. And I know that 2025 is important, not only from a football standpoint, but from a stadium standpoint, from an operations standpoint. Again, I trust Ryan. I trust the process that he has put together. I'm confident that it will yield postive results."
He's not wrong: a year is a lifetime when you're rooting for the Chicago Bears. But trust them, it's going to yield positive results! The three words that ever football fan loves to hear. You know you're just talking ball with a fan when you can debate over how many positive results are yielded. That's a very normal way to phrase that sentiment, and one that we all hear a lot of from football minds around the country. I bet they have some great decks showing the year-over-year returns that said positive yields will provide.
The good news is that, in theory, the Bears are slowly but surely modernizing. The bad news is that modernizing apparently means turning into a soulless consulting firm where no one really knows what anyone's doing. Maybe the Bears will fit right in.