The Bears schedule is here! On Wednesday night, fans all over Chicagoland got the good news: this year, they can blame the Bears for the constant state of anxiety they'll be in on Thanksgiving. All 17 of the Bears games, and most of their kickoff times, were revealed last night, in a 3-minute long video that – you guessed it – made a bunch of references to Chicago. Any time you have the chance to make a Ferris Bueller's Day Off parody in 2024, you do it.
But now comes the important part: guessing. Since we know when and where these games are taking place, there's no excuse for us not to immediately turn around and rank them. Otherwise they're just 17 chaotic games rattling around inside our heads for the next four month. We need order, and only internet rankings will do. But first, here's how their schedule looks:
Week 1: vs. Tennessee Titans
Week 2: @ Houston Texans
Week 3: @ Indianapolis Colts
Week 4: vs. Los Angeles Rams
Week 5: vs. Carolina Panthers
Week 6: vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
Week 7: BYE WEEK
Week 8: @ Washington Commanders
Week 9: @ Arizona Cardinals
Week 10: vs. New England Patriots
Week 11: vs. Green Bay Packers
Week 12: vs. Minnesota Vikings
Week 13: @ Detroit Lions
Week 14: @ San Francisco 49ers
Week 15: @ Minnesota Vikings
Week 16: vs. Detroit Lions
Week 17: vs. Seattle Seahawks
Week 18: @ Green Bay Packers
Now let's rank some things.