Handing out Taylor Swift songs to the Chicago Bears after their 41-10 drubbing against the Kansas City Chiefs

This is Me Trying

To Bears head coach Matt Eberflus, whose only contribution to the game was an embarrassing decision to kick a 21-yard field goal while down 41-0. How do you explain that to the locker room? Like Taylor, would you say I've been having a hard time adjusting? There's no excuse. This was the football equivalent of bunting to break up a no-hitter while trailing 10-0 in the ninth inning. Later in the song, Taylor says, And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. To that, I say try wearing navy and orange in Arrowhead Stadium as the Chiefs score yet another touchdown.

Come Back... Be Here

On behalf of Bears fans everywhere: Lovie Smith, we're sorry. We never knew how good we had it. Fired after a 10-6 season, Lovie was a very good coach that deserved better. If I had known what I know now, I never would have played it so nonchalant. You could actually make the argument that Lovie is the person that has done the most for the franchise ever since he left, leading the Texans to an improbable Week 18 win last year to secure the #1 pick for the Bears, which eventually netted them D.J. Moore and more from the Carolina Panthers. Let's clean house and bring Lovie back.

Carolina

Speaking of Carolina, this song from the Where the Crawdads Sing soundtrack goes out to the Panthers, whose games are now required viewing for Bears fans who are pulling against Frank Reich's team each week. The worse the Panthers are, the better the draft pick they'll convey to the Bears. Like the Bears, they're 0-3. Though the Bears can't hope to match Taylor Swift, who once held all of the top ten spots in the Billboard Top 100, with the way things are going, they might end up with the top two in the NFL draft.