JJ McCarthy's hilariously bad first pitch proves Bears fans have nothing to worry about

Sam Darnold, step right up.
Minnesota Vikings Mandatory Minicamp
Minnesota Vikings Mandatory Minicamp / Adam Bettcher/GettyImages

If I was a famous person, I would simply never throw out a first pitch. There's no upside: you either fire it in there and everyone forgets about it, or you do *not* fire it in there and are immediately enshrined in the Bad Pitch Hall of Fame.

JJ McCarthy learned that lesson the hard way. McCarthy was a Twins game this week to throw out the first pitch, and reader, it was a disaster:

That man is a professional quarterback in the National Football League. His job is literally to throw balls with precision. And yeah, throwing a baseball isn't technically the same thing as throwing a football, but on the other hand, yes it is. And on the other, other hand, this man is a professional quarterback in the National Football League.

Bears fans: it's a wrap. You may have to worry about the Packers or Lions, but at least the Vikings aren't a problem. Because it's either this guy or Sam Darnold. And as everyone knows, if you can't accurately throw strikes in front of 1200 people at a mid-week Twins game, you're never going to make it under the bright lights of U.S. Bank Stadium. Maybe it's not too late for Justin Jefferson to get out of that new contract.