Offseason predictions are like Mitch Trubisky jerseys: everyone has one, and they're not worth a whole lot.
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And what better way to squeeze the orange for all its juice than create a giant list of 100 predictions to be published 100 days away from Opening Night? Get it? Because they're both 100?
It even gets worse. You'd think that somewhere in the ONE HUNDRED predictions that Sports Illustrated dropped on us this week, there'd be some Bears optimism. You'd think that someone would appreciate the potential of Ben Johnson and Caleb Williams, potentially even enough to predict [gasp] a playoff berth. Even for a fanbase that, uh, jumps the shark from time to time, a playoff berth isn't that outrageous of a take this season. Right?
Wrong. Instead of a playoff game, how does eight wins sound? Because that's all you're getting if Sports Illustrated has any say. They feel more confident in Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce breaking up than they do in the Bears.
Sports Illustrated thinks the Bears are an 8-win team, which is a pretty big bummer
"I feel like eight hard-fought wins is not sexy and may not be tolerated by Bears fans. But I also feel like eight hard-fought wins in which Caleb Williams plays on schedule, the head coach doesn’t melt down and the Bears are into mid-November with a glimmer of playoff hope will serve as an improvement from years past."
I know this is framed as optimistic, but I don't buy it. I'm being gaslit, I'm so sure of it. Eight wins is NOT sexy. I certainly won't tolerate it either, and I'm not even a Bears fan. Nine wins would be fine. 10 wins would deserve its own parade. But eight wins? Trash. Unsexy trash. It would be nice to see a Bears head coach not melt down though, he's not wrong about that.
Also, just to nit-pick a tiny bit more: the Bears always have a mid-November glimmer of playoff hope. No one is more perpetually In The Hunt than the Bears. It really doesn't even matter what their record is.
Eight wins would be a huge bummer. Then again, [considers the history of the Chicago Bears football franchise] maybe I could live with it.