Bear Fan’s Guide to British Slang
Rat arsed – Yet another term for drunk, sloshed or plastered. You might say loaded. In the UK, loaded is a men’s magazine that covers sex and football.
Roger – Same kind of problem that Randy has here, except we have people called Roger and no Randys. You will see a strange smile on the face of a Brit every time “Roger the Rabbit” is mentioned!! To roger means to have your wicked way with a lady. My Oxford English Dictionary says to copulate. You might say screw.
Sack/sacked – If someone gets the sack it means they are fired. Then they have been sacked. I can think of a few people I’d like to sack!
Shirty – “Don’t get shirty with me young man” was what my Dad used to tell me when I was little. He was referring to my response to his telling off for doing some terrible little boy thing. Like tying my brother to the back of Mum’s car or putting my shoes in the toilet. It meant I was getting bad tempered.
Shite – This is just another way of saying shit. It is useful for times when you don’t want to be overly rude as it doesn’t sound quite as bad!
Sixes and sevens – If something is all at sixes and sevens then it is in a mess, topsy turvy or somewhat haywire!
Slash – Something a lager lout might be seen doing in the street after his curry – having a slash. Other expressions used to describe this bodily function include; siphon the python, shake the snake, wee, pee, piss, piddle and having a jimmy.
Snap – This is the name of a card game where the players turn cards at the same time and shout “snap” when they match. People also say “snap” when something someone else says has happened to them too. For example when I told somebody that my wallet was stolen on holiday, they said “snap”, meaning that theirs had too!
Snog – If you are out on the pull you will know you are succeeding if you end up snogging someone of the opposite sex (or same sex for that matter!). It would probably be referred to as making out in American, or serious kissing!
Sod – This word has many uses. My father always used to say “Oh Sod!” or “Sod it!” if something went wrong and he didn’t want to swear too badly in front of the children. If someone is a sod or an “old sod” then it means they are a bit of a bastard or an old git. “Sod off” is like saying “piss off” or “get lost” & “sod you” means something like “f*** off”. It also means a chunk of lawn of course. You can usually tell the difference!
Sod all – If you are a waiter in America and you serve a family of Brits, the tip is likely to be sod all or as you would call it – nothing. Because we don’t know about tipping.
Stiffy – Yet another word for erection.
Stuff – A recent headline in the New Statesman read “stuff the millennium”. Using stuff in this context is a polite way of saying “f*** the millennium”. Who cares! Stuff it! You can also say “stuff him” or “stuff her” meaning they can sod off.
Talent – Talent is the same as totty. Checking out the talent means looking for the sexy young girls (or boys I suppose).
Totty – If a chap is out looking for totty, he is looking for a nice girl to chat up. There is an Italian football player called Totti – which is pronounced the same. It’s really funny hearing the commentators when he gets the ball saying “it’s Totty for Italy”. It sounds like some beautiful Italian girlies have invaded the pitch.
Two finger salute – When you see a Brit stick up two fingers at you in a V shape, he may be ordering two of something (if his palms are toward you). The other way around and it’s an insult along the lines of your one finger salute. Which, by the way, is very popular here now too!
Wanker – This is a derogatory term used to describe someone who is a bit of a jerk. It actually means someone who masturbates and also has a hand signal that can be done with one hand at people that cannot see you shouting “wanker” at them. This is particularly useful when driving.
Wobbler – To “throw a wobbly” or to “throw a wobbler” means to have a tantrum. Normally happens when you tell your kids they can’t have an ice cream or that it’s time for bed.
Wonky – If something is shaky or unstable you might say it is wonky. For example I changed my chair in a restaurant recently because I had a wonky one.
Zonked – If someone is zonked or “zonked out” it means they are totally knackered or you might say exhausted. When a baby has drunk so much milk, his eyes roll into the back of his head, it would be fair to say he was zonked!
Now practice your new slang terms in the Comments.