With the sad and untimely passing of pitchman Billy Mays, there is a huge void in the informercial universe.  Fear not, night owls and couch potatoes!  There is one man that can fill the void without missing a beat - Da Coach, Iron Mike Ditka!  Ditka has an extensive resume that rivals any possible replacement.  Let’s look back at some of Da Coach’s commercials, endorsements and products.  Be sure to check out the video clip for Mike’s Kick Ass Red - my favorite of the bunch.  In the weird and somewhat disturbing category, check out the Sega Commercial with OJ Simpson.

The Protector - you’ve gotta love this classic spot with Dick Butkus.

Continue Reading »

No, I’m not making any bold predictions (yet), Bears fans.  I’m talking about the Chicago Slaughter, the newly crowned champion of the Continental Indoor Football League. The Slaughter defeated the Fort Wayne Freedom 58-48 over the weekend in suburban Hoffman Estates to capture their first-ever title.  No riots or burning overturned police cars were reported during the celebration in the quiet northwestern ‘burb.

The reason that this is newsworthy on a Bears blog is not only because it’s still a Chicago team, but the new champs are coached by former Chicago Bear Steve “Mongo” McMichael.

According to a team release, head coach Steve McMichael thanked the “true football fans of Chicago,” during the trophy presentation.

“Celebrate the championship of Chicago because it’s your team too,” McMichael said, according to the release. “Undefeated, the Chicago Slaughter are here to stay. Now, let’s go party.”

Of course, Mongo is no stranger to championships in Chicago, as a key member of the 1985 Super Bowl Bears.  Legend has it that on the eve of Super Bowl XX, defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan, who was on his way out the door to coach the Philadelphia Eagles, told his defense that “No matter what happens, you’ll always be my heroes.” After many tears were shed, Steve McMichael impaled the wall with a chair, and the team was ready to take no prisoners the following day.  I wonder what kind of pre-game speech McMichael delivered prior to championship game?

Congratulations to McMichael and the Slaughter!!!

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/BearGogglesOn.

Sign up for your daily dose of Bear Goggles On.

I had a Ditka itch and YouTube was able to give me a big time scratch.  I pulled this clip off YouTube and I am left completely speechless.  For those not indoctrinated to the term Grabowski, here is the description that YouTube included:

Ditka shuffles with the Grabowskis. Mike Ditka considers the term “Grabowski” to refer to any hard-working individual. He refered to his Bears football team as a bunch of Grabowskis in the past, which surely won over the blue-collar fans of Chicago.

Da Coach has always been quick to capitalize on his celebrity with various endorsements, products, restaurants, etc, but to say that this is rock bottom is an understatement.  What was going on back in the 80’s that made this acceptable in any way?   How does this get pitched to Ditka and how can any self-respecting NFL head coach get involved with a project like this?  Can you picture any head coach doing something like this today?  Bill Belichick doing the Spygate Shuffle?

Say what you want about Ditka, but Da Coach is trying to use his celebrity for a good cause nowadays.  Check out his latest project at http://www.gridirongreats.org to help retired players.

Unrestricted Free Agent safety Mike Brown departs Chicago after 9 seasons and many great highlights.  When healthy, he’s among the best in the business; although in recent years, health has been a major concern.  Brownie didn’t play a full schedule in any of the last 5 seasons.

Brown heads to a Kansas City Chiefs defense that ranked 31st in the league last season.  He will compete for a starting spot against Bernard Pollard and Jarrad Page. Check out what the Chiefs might expect from Brown when he’s at his best:

Thanks for the memories #30!!!

When I get this far behind on my blogging, I find it’s easiest to bring out the Bear Buzz post to catch up on some loose ends.

Jay Cutler pines for Brandon Marshall

Jay Cutler said all the right things after OTA’s ended last week, saying the Bears are set at receiver, but the new Bears QB let his guard down a bit in a recent interview “off campus” on a visit to William and Mary.

“I played with Brandon for three years and I think he’s one of the best receivers in the NFL,” Cutler told the Daily Press. “I think he can be one of the greatest ever to play. He’s big and fast, and can do everything you want him to do, on the field and in the meeting room.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do. That’s up to the guys upstairs. If we make a run at him, we make a run at him.”

I guess you can’t blame Jay for talking up his ex-teammate.  I would put long odds against the Bears having enough to get a trade done with the Broncos, but then again, I never thought they’d pull of the Cutler trade! Continue Reading »

Ex-Bear Kyle Orton was named the starter in Denver.    Teammate Brandon Marshall is so excited about the idea, he’s requesting a trade.  According to some early reports from his agent, it will be granted.  Orton hasn’t even started a game and the Broncos could already suffer their first loss.  Could Marshall be following Jay Cutler to the Bears?  Let the speculation begin.  

The Bears’ draft pick and trade coffers are a bit depleted, so they might need to sweeten the pot to pull off a trade for Marshall.  Who could the Bears give up?  Denver had a woeful defense in ‘08, so they could use some help on that side of the ball.  Would Brian Urlacher be on interest?  Nathan Vasher or Charles Tillman?  Not much to give up on the other side of the ball except maybe Devin Hester?  Would you be willing to give him up to land a talent like Marshall?   

In other news..

Rex Grossman avoided major embarrassment and signed to compete as the backup for the Texans.  Too bad he wasn’t named the starter - maybe Andre Johnson would want out of Houston.  As I tweeted last week, “Houston, you have a problem!  It’s Tex Rex!”

Plaxico Burress’ gun case has been postponed until September.   Latest word out there is that he is actively negotiating do sign a deal before training camp opens.  Lots of speculation still links the troubled receiver to the Bears, but nothing definitive yet.

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/BearGogglesOn

Just as Moses received the Ten Commandments from Mount Sinai, former Bears Coach Mike Ditka received a new set of commandments for today’s athlete.

A reading from the First Letter of Ditka to Da Superfans.

Da Coach came down from Mount Prospect with two stone tablets and declared, “Gang, Papa Bear has called me from on high to give you these Commandments for today’s athlete.  Woe unto him who does not follow them!”

I. Thou shall not put thyself above the game.

The sport got you to where you are today.  Don’t ever forget it.  Play the game with the childlike enthusiasm and passion that you did when you realized this is what you want to do when you grow up.  Respect the sport and those that came before you.  No one is bigger than the game.

II. Thou shall not cheat

An entire era of baseball is marred by the dark shadow cast by steroids.  The Patriots near-perfect 2007 season always will have Spygate associated with it (along with that loss to the Giants when it counted the most).   Forget the old saying, “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying!”

III. Respect thy enemy.

When you score a touchdown, hand the ball to the ref.  If you hit a home run, jog around the bases and don’t show up the pitcher.  You don’t need to act like you won the Super Bowl every time you make a tackle, especially when your team is losing.  Act like you’ve been there before and respect your opponent.  Lose as graciously as you win, LeBron.

IV. I am the Lord thy God.  Thou shall not “Make it Rain.”

The Pacman Jones Commandment.  If you have a rap sheet a mile long, it’s probably not a great idea to go to a strip club and “make it rain” to essentially incite a stripper riot.  Everyone deserves a second chance, but not a third, fourth or fifth chance.

V. Thou shall honor thy fans.

The people who buy the products you endorse, fork over their hard earned cash to see you play and buy your jersey paid for that Mercedes and mansion.   Try to keep that in mind when they ask for an autograph.

VI. Thou shall not kill.

Same as the real Commandment.  And that goes for animals too, Mr. Vick!

VII. Thou shall keep it in thy pants.

The Shawn Kemp Commandment.  An untidy personal life can lead to problems in the locker room and on the field.  If you are foolish enough to have Baby Mama’s across the country, be man enough to take proper care of them.  We don’t want to see you on an episode of Maury!

VIII. Thou shall issue sincere apologies.

Everyone is bound to mess up.  When you do, offer a sincere apology.  The phrase “If what I did/said offended you…” cannot be used.  If you are apologizing, you already offended someone, so no need to qualify it.  Just say, “I’m sorry!” Be sincere and move on.

IX. Thou shall not covet thy teammates’ contract.

If your teammate earns a big payday, good for him.  Go out and earn your contract.  Don’t take plays off.  Play hard each and every play.  Don’t forget, you signed on the dotted line.  Live up to and honor your word.  Same goes for college coaches.

X. Thou shall not break the law.

This is the most basic and fundamental of all commandments in case any of the other nine didn’t register.   Don’t carry a concealed weapon and even more foolishly shoot yourself with it in a club.  Don’t have a cache of loaded weapons.  Don’t drink and drive - and that includes a boat.  You make big $$’s - hire a limo or a driver.  Don’t beat your wife or girlfriend. Follow the laws that everyone else is expected to obey.

Da Word of Da Coach.

Thanks be to Papa.

Amen

What commandments did I forget?  Post your commandments in the Comments, so in the Mel Brooks version of this post, there were 15, (oops) no 10 - Ten Commandments.

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/BearGogglesOn.

Da Coach chimed in on the newest Bears savior Jay Cutler recently.  Ditka didn’t exactly endorse the new Bears signal caller, questioning the circumstances of Jay’s departure from Denver.  Commenting on Tony Dungy’s recent analysis of the Jay Cutler acquisition:

“I don’t think anything about what Tony said is earth-shattering,” Ditka said. “I think it’s a fact. [Cutler] came here under uncertain circumstances. The way he got out of Denver was kind of strange. But the kid is a talent.”

But Da Coach, master marketer and of the endorsement deal and holder of the key to the City offered Cutler this fine advice:

“If they win with Jay Cutler and go to the Super Bowl, he will own this city,” he said. “He can have my key.”

It’s actually shocking that anyone associated with the ‘85 Bears is willing to share so much as the key to the executive bathroom at Halas Hall.  Those guys have been milking that Super Bowl title for nearly 25 years.  Do you think they want the current Bears team to take the title so they can just ride into the sunset?  Nah, me neither.  Da Orange-hued Ditka offered Jay some more tips to succeeding in the Windy City:

“The worst thing that you could ever do in this city is come in here and be a complainer or a whiner,” Ditka said. “If you do that, you have a problem. So I think if he comes in here and shows that he’s the leader of this football team …

“From what I understand from talking to the people I talk to, he has been a model citizen, and the city has really embraced him.”

“You’ll find out a lot when the pressure’s on,” he said. “We’ll find out once the season starts, when things are either going good or not so good, you find out how people respond to that.”

It appears the new big man on campus, Jay Cutler, hasn’t exactly taken to the bright lights of the big city.  As Neil Hayes points out in his Chicago Sun Times column:

Internet reports detailing how the Bears’ new quarterback has alienated some fans while making public and private appearances are troubling because it suggests that he doesn’t grasp the enormity of his opportunity. We’re not making any specific allegations here.

I guess biggest thing to hit Chicago Bears football since the T-formation hasn’t exactly ingratiated himself to his new adoring fan base, blowing off autograph requests at recent public appearance.  Hayes goes on to say:

Athletes can’t win when it comes to autographs. They can sign their names 300 times and the 100 people still in line will complain, sometimes bitterly. Continue Reading »

I came across these pics in the terrific Sports Pros(e) blog from the Sun Times and couldn’t believe my eyes.  Glenn Timmerman, 45, of Round Lake, IL showed off his 92 permanently emblazoned Bears autograph tattoos at former Bear Ruben Brown’s Motorcycle Run last weekend.

Among the highlights of Earl’s ink is Da Coach’s John Hancock across the back of his dome.

I don’t know about you, but I think this might be just a teeny, tiny bit over the top.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a tattoo prude or anything like that.  I think a tastefully done tat can be really cool.  I’m as diehard a Bears fan as there is, but come on.  Do you really need Doug Buffone’s autograph tattooed on your chest?  And how exactly do you approach another grown man and say, “Sign my chest Mr. Thayer?”  or “Could you autograph my head coach Ditka?”

This guy looks like he passed out at a frat party and woke up with the football team’s practical joke written all over him.  (Not that anything like that ever happened to anyone I know!)   If nothing else, I guess it’s a conversation starter. Hey, he got my attention.

Nice tribute to Sweetness. Of course he's got Zubaz.

So sports fans, what’s your best tribute to your favorite team?  E-mail me your best tats and I’ll put a post together featuring the best fan ink out there.  Drop me a line with your name and what inspired your tattoo to beargoggles.boomer@gmail.com by June 19th.  Who knows, maybe someone will inspire me to get a Cedric Benson tattoo on my ass crack?

Bear Down!!!

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/BearGogglesOn.